Every person you’ll meet in Kebab King

After a night out everyone craves fast food, and here in Fallowfield, all roads lead to Kebab King.

Whether you’re a chips, cheese and gravy kind of girl or a traditional donner kebab everyone finds a melange of comfort and joy in Kebab King, and we’ve put together the definitive list of people you’ll find in Fallowfield’s finest.

Paz

The man, the babe, the legend. The true Fallowfield MVP.

The people trying to sweet talk their way into free food

First up we have the girls, and some talented guys, who are skilled enough to sweet talk their way into free food. Not only that, but they just spent the majority of the night having 99p drinks bought for them in Factory. We all have a lot to learn from these girls if we’re after a cheap night out, but until then we have the right to steal some of your food because you didn’t even pay for it.

The impatient customer who got dragged home before they were ready

Excuse me I’ve been waiting for 4 minutes

The whole night went by so fast, it was amazing the music was siiick! Everyone is so funny and you’re just so happy to be around all these amazing people. But to be honest you don’t actually want any food, your mouth is way too dry for all of that, but everyone else was coming so you had to, and it’s GREAT!

The girl gang who are going to destroy enough food to put rugby lads to shame

You go girls

You went on a huge gals night, no boys allowed. If you so much as saw a guy look at your friend you got her to swap with you straight away. You all drank Rosé at pres and got ready together which was probably the best part of your night. When you get to the club the queue is long, but that’s okay because you still need time to finish off that one last bottle of wine anyway. You eventually get in, and it’s already an evening of telling guys that your friend is actually your girlfriend and that you’ve been together for like two years now. You dance all night and as soon as you see a club photographer you make sure you get a snap. After all of that, it seems only fitting to end the night with a Kebab King.

The ultimate friendship…sharing food after a night out.

Friends that eat together stay together

You were with a bigger group but as the night went on people got lost and everyone split off. But you two stuck it out together the whole night, you were on the same level of drunk all night, taking turns to buy shots and hold each others hair back when you had one too many. Now all you need is to share a portion of chips and you are friends for life, couldn’t have done it without you!

The ‘failure to pull’ solitary take away

Doner for one please

You went out with the lads and thought that tonight was the night! After spending yet another Christmas single, and now Valentines day too, all you want it someone to hug at night. Unfortunately, you were too busy trying to hide your too drunk friend from the bouncers. You may not have won over a special someone tonight but you are a good friend.

The friend you can’t take anywhere

Ffs Joe

This guy is the reason why you aren’t getting laid tonight. He downed four cans of K cider and took a whole load of shots before he went out. He has been unstoppable since and has been the worst wing man you could have asked for. But he has found a road sign and he did buy everyone drinks at the club, so really we can all forgive him.

The prom queens

A rare breed in Fallowfield, but they can’t shy away from the garlic mayo after a ball at The Midland.

The girl who flirts her way behind the counter

This girl has accomplished the goal of many a Fallowfield cheesy chip fan. She pretends to remain calm and collected when giving Paz a cheeky wink and worming her way through the crowded queue to the counter. As if she’s some kind of Owens Park celeb, she feels it’s her right to be hilarious and take a pic with Paz in the back of the shop.

The Snapchatter

Not a stranger to any night out, the serial Snapchatter is in her element in a fine establishment such as Kebab King. Seriously, nothing screams “200 sceond story” quite like the aroma of dodgy meat and a side of Paz’s infamous smile.

This guy

He doesn’t even go here