I made my own slashkini

My mum had to sew me into it


Despite being completely impractical for tanning, swimming or anything else, the slashkini is one of the summer’s biggest swimwear trends.

Their expensive price tag meant I had to make my own using one of Primark’s finest one-pieces, chalk and a pair of scissors.

Here’s how:


1. Using chalk, mark out a design you want to cut


2.  Carefully cut your pre-marked lines


3.  Whether you’re in Marbs or Manchester, wear that shit with pride


However hard I tried to look relaxed while my mum was taking the snaps, it was ridiculously impractical.

Although surprisingly comfortable (providing I didn’t move), the end result cut into my waist like a sausage.

It ripped before I even put it on and so my mum actually had to sew me into it. When it came to taking it off, I had to rip it to shreds to finally be free.

It turns out an hour and a half of pretending to be a DIY goddess does not make a masterpiece.

I’d never dream of wearing it to my local pool, I’d give the OAP’s a heart attack. Maybe if I was really drunk I’d wear it to some cool beach party, but the slashkini is one fashion trend that I wouldn’t recommend.


Not the most flattering way of exposing my fresher’s weight gain