When the Manchester football team went on tour

Few were willing to shed light on the antics of tour. So like the rest of the football team I blindly signed up anyway. All you seem to hear is that the hype is real. Sound familiar? Well strap your seat belts in. Here’s what they didn’t tell you.

First thing I was going to need was a neck brace, in the form of a pillow. It’s funny how no one mentions the 28 hour coach journey to get there.

You could attempt to sleep your way to Salou like a true party pooper, or you can board the banter bus properly with an abundant supply of your local gaff’s finest 2 for a 5, or get on the beers.

28 hours later we arrived at the hotel, with a hovering hangover and a breakfast, lunch and dinner load of service station Big Macs sitting in our stomachs.

Once everyone had recharged and brought themselves back from the dead, the Tour Veterans prepared their finest “Dirty Pints”, topped with a hint of the old absinthe, and distributed them to the tour freshers, for no particular reason of course.

‘The Dirty Pint’

seems legit…

After the daily tour challenges were dished out and the tour Gods, suitably appeased with the attempts on the “Dirty Pints”, everyone was well on their way to a top night out (in fancy dress of course).

Just your local superheros

the aftermath

Whilst soaking up the atmosphere during the day on the beach, it was impossible to miss your standard set of rugby lads competing for attention under the pretense of “banter”. I guess that explains the questionable barnets.

As the carnage of tour drew to an end we made some unforgettable friends, forged some incredible memories and shared some outrageous moments.That said.. the coach journey back really didn’t get any shorter.

UMMFC – Class of 2015