How not to dress for an exam

You might fail


Exam season has reared its ugly head yet again and so have some ridiculous exam outfits.

Some start to look like they’re heading straight to Factory after their physics exam. Others just got dressed in the dark.

Whatever you do, follow these sure fire tips to make absolutely, definitely sure that you don’t make a grade A dickhead of yourself in this year’s January exams.

Make loads of effort

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Fingers crossed they don’t finish early…

Because everyone’s main priority is going to be complimenting you on your new dress or pair of day heels.

Wear your hood up

But be sure to maintain it for the duration of the exam, that sort of commitment deserves recognition.

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The classic hood-up stance: discrete and understated

 Spend at least an hour doing your make-up

Those perfectly contoured cheeks are sure to nab you a first

Wear lots and lots of layers

Because the person in front of you noisily removing an item of clothing every 10 minutes isn’t remotely distracting.

Alternatively, wear as little clothes as possible.

Nothing like a bit of cleavage to ensure all the lads fail their first year.

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It’s getting hot in here

Wear a hat

Bucket hat or beanie, five panel or fedora…. We’re not fussy. They all look equally as shit from where I’m sitting.

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Wear your Uni of Manchester gear

It’s not like we all go to the same uni or anything…

Wear your pyjamas

Because the comfort of nightwear and lack of shower is bound to keep you awake in an exam.

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Dressing gown chic

Wear your hair in a bun

But only if you’re a guy. It would be far too mainstream for a girl.

Don’t wear a bra

Because Manchester at the end of January is known for it’s Mediterranean climate and there’s absolutely no risk whatsoever of a nippy situation arising.