How not to dress for an exam
You might fail
Exam season has reared its ugly head yet again and so have some ridiculous exam outfits.
Some start to look like they’re heading straight to Factory after their physics exam. Others just got dressed in the dark.
Whatever you do, follow these sure fire tips to make absolutely, definitely sure that you don’t make a grade A dickhead of yourself in this year’s January exams.
Make loads of effort
Because everyone’s main priority is going to be complimenting you on your new dress or pair of day heels.
Wear your hood up
But be sure to maintain it for the duration of the exam, that sort of commitment deserves recognition.
Spend at least an hour doing your make-up
Those perfectly contoured cheeks are sure to nab you a first
Wear lots and lots of layers
Because the person in front of you noisily removing an item of clothing every 10 minutes isn’t remotely distracting.
Alternatively, wear as little clothes as possible.
Nothing like a bit of cleavage to ensure all the lads fail their first year.
Wear a hat
Bucket hat or beanie, five panel or fedora…. We’re not fussy. They all look equally as shit from where I’m sitting.
Wear your Uni of Manchester gear
It’s not like we all go to the same uni or anything…
Wear your pyjamas
Because the comfort of nightwear and lack of shower is bound to keep you awake in an exam.
Wear your hair in a bun
But only if you’re a guy. It would be far too mainstream for a girl.
Don’t wear a bra
Because Manchester at the end of January is known for it’s Mediterranean climate and there’s absolutely no risk whatsoever of a nippy situation arising.