Spending more money in freshers’ makes you cooler

We’ve done a graph and everything


The costs of Freshers’ Weeks are hitting an all time high at universities across the country, you’re persuaded to splash out on all sorts of things that you’re “supposed” to buy. Even up north, freshers’ week isn’t going to be cheap.

But is it all just a waste of money, or is it worth forking out that little bit extra for social gains?

Bit smug

Here’s a few of the best and worst things to spend your loan on:

The freshers’ pack

Cost: £50+

There’s a freshers’ pack that gives you access to a number of events and clubs across the week.

But succumbing to the pressure requires a lump sum investment – while abolishing any flexibility. What if your new friends are going to something else? What if you lose it on the first day? What if you really just don’t want to go to Pout on a Monday?

The Freshers’ Pack is supposed to be an effective way to limit the costs, and it doesn’t even include a Pangaea ticket (usually £20+ on their own).

Despite this, without this handy little bundle of tickets, you’re left with the daunting task of finding your own tickets for each night, which can really put a downer on the upcoming freshers festivities – and nobody wants that.

Recommended investment? Money wise, probably not, but to save yourself time, effort, and loneliness, yes.

Fresherssssssssss

Don’t worry, Uni won’t always be like this

Predrinks

Cost: £15+

Probably the most essential ingredient to any night out regardless if it’s freshers’ or not. Start as you intend to go on.

Give in to the peer pressure and don’t be an idiot. You can’t afford to drink when you’re out. If you’re doing freshers’ properly you’ll need pre-drinks for every night.

Recommended investment? Essential.

not all pre-drinks are this nuts

Drinks at the venue

Cost: £5 – £10 per night (if the predrinks procedure was carried out correctly).

If carried out correctly, it’s the tactical investment that could enhance your week and expand your social index to new scales.

But results can vary from one end of the scale to another. On one side you have the failure – that person who didn’t predrink to freshers standards and is therefore desperately trying to catching up.

After spending hours queuing and flashing their cash, they’re still sober as a goat and spend the remainder of the night trying make friends with people who have already forgotten who they are and what they were saying.

With Skittle and Jäger Bombs costing less than a cheeseburger it would just be silly not to take advantage of this liver destroying opportunity.

You could be that guy who buys everyone a round or two while getting yourself even more obliterated before ending up in a ditch and returning the next morning to tell your stories like a war hero.

Recommended investment? Don’t over do it and this could be a strategic success.

Important or unnecessary?

Spending money can buy you friends

Transport

Cost: £10 – 25 (unless you got a bus pass like most normal people)

This concept is straightforward but makes a big difference. If you followed the advice of any previous student, you would have purchased a bus pass and not been so silly.

If you weren’t so clever, you’ll end up spending whopping amounts of small change on return bus tickets that you’ll probably lose by the end of the night.

In some cases though, the odd taxi back may be justified, like when one of your mates is too inebriated to get on the bus.

Recommended investment? No. Get a bloody bus pass.

A trip on one of those undoubtedly enhances the night

A trip on one of these undoubtedly enhances everyone’s night

Post-night out food

Cost: £5

Considered by many as one of the most important elements, your post-club Kebab King can be the make or break of a good night out.

It’s your chance to meet even more like-minded idiots while experiencing the formidable taste of kebab.

Also, it apparently might ease your hangover. Positives all round?

Recommended investment? Yes, but only if you’re really drunk.

It's just tradition.

It’s just tradition

So, it’s been proven that wasting money makes you look cool…

Thanks to the work of Mr Langford, The Tab’s Physicist-in-Chief, the information above was translated into a graph to show the relationship between finical investment and social gains during freshers’ week.

Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 17.14.13

Point A: This area is experience by those who don’t understand the importance of freshers’. They invest little money and are likely to experience little social gain. They generally have a shitter freshers’, which is why it’s an area you need to avoid.

Point B: The people at this point are those who invested a fair amount into their freshers’ and got a fair amount of return from it. This is a non-exciting place to be and will make you look back at your freshers’ questioning why it was so distinctively average.

Point C: This is the optimal point in terms of investment and social benefits. You spent enough to have an amazing time and expand your social network while not going over the top, meaning you still have enough money to keep you above the poverty line.

Point D: Spending money does not always guarantee social return. Although you may still have an amazing time, spending more money can lead to common problems such as becoming paralytic or the feeling that you’re showing off by splashing the cash, leading to a decline in social benefits.

In all honesty, you’re unlikely to have a legendary freshers’ without digging into your student loan (it’s been proven!), but there’s certain things things worth giving a miss when it comes to your first week at uni- so spend wisely.