Your relationship is ruining your uni life

We get it, you’re in a relationship. Here’s five reasons why you shouldn’t be.


A lot of people find their significant other during their years in the hallowed halls of university. Maybe it’s the alcohol, the proximity or the fact that there’s simply no-one else. Oh, and the chemistry (obvs).

But is it really the right time for pledging your eternal love to someone? We’ve come up with a few situations in which your relationship is definitely ruining uni for you – and everyone else around you.

Cute

 1. Party poopers

These two managed to unstick themselves from each other for long enough to take a picture.

Music. Alcohol. People. Mix the lot together and you’ve got yourself a party. With a party, you’ll usually find the couple making out in the corner, only talking to each other and generally being exceptionally antisocial. Which, of course, begs the question: why bother coming out in the first place? No wonder they ruin pre-drinks.

2. Revision ruiners

I see no books on that bed.

I see no books on that bed.

Beware – this can happen by stealth. Exam season is stressful, we know. It’s one of your few precious days before an exam and you head out to the library in order to cram a bit more. Cleverly, you decide to invite along one half of a couple. It’s a sensible idea, as it’s more productive to work in a group. Big mistake. They’ll either be on their phone/Facebook all the time in order to speak to their precious one at all points in the day or they’ll crash your little library date because they just can’t be apart for that long. Well, there go the finer points of Mechanical Engineering.

3. House hoarders

“I just love the way bears are so majestic, you know?”

Couples are notorious for taking over a house. Whether it’s cooking each other meals or having a particular ‘space’ on the sofa (what for is not worth thinking about) they will infest your party house like a plague of locusts. Their idea of a fascinating night is making a hot chocolate, watching a documentary about why bears behave in the ways they do and being in bed by 11pm.

4. Single shamers

“We’re sooooooo good at giving advice! Um, what was it again?”

You go to them for advice for something, and it will inevitably turn to a conversation into why they’re so glad that they’re not single anymore. It’s okay, it’s not like you actually needed advice. After laughing together for what seems like hours, they’ll sigh and gaze longingly into each other’s eyes. Your problem? Forgotten.

5. You’re absolutely skint.

Pan fried scallops and lemon-sautéed king prawns served with deconstructed ddauphinoise potatoes

Undoubtedly, the most meal-out intensive period of your life. And you can’t have a meal without wine. Before you know it you’re coughing up 100 quid every time you venture to Didsbury for “dinner darling”, and saying things like “I much prefer going out for food than going out out”. Oh, I know, we’ll have dinner in tonight. That’ll just be the 30 quid at Saino’s then because you’re cooking pan fried scallops and lemon-sautéed king prawns served with de-constructed dauphinoise potatoes and fennel-infused organic kale.