Don’t get fat during exams

Step away from the fridge! Tips to avoid piling on the pounds this exam season.


You still haven’t been able to shift the freshers 15, and now with exams looming the prospect of getting even fatter seems almost inevitable.

With hours of procrastination leading to late-night cramming, lack of sleep and unhealthy eating habits, crying over stacks of revision notes with a bar of chocolate in hand each hand feels like a pretty good option right now.

You want me to put that WHERE?

But don’t fret, and put down the sweets! Here are ways to battle the bulge this exam season.

Procrastinate less

Everyone knows the best (and yummiest) form of procrastinating is procrasti-baking. By doing this less you’ll be saving yourself hundreds of calories a day on sweet treats that your body really doesn’t need. If you do need something to break up the day, just go back to watching cat videos on YouTube.

Good call

Revise on the run

With all that revision hanging over your head, it seems almost impossible to keep up any morsel of a fitness routine that you once had. Instead, try taking your revision on your workout, and BAM, you have a double whammy – burning calories while learning about Einstein’s theory of relativity.

The average life of a sports science student

Revise during sex

If endlessly pounding around the streets of Manchester or going for it in the gym with a bunch of sweaty, testosterone-fueled power-junkies for hours on end just isn’t for you, then hit the books while hitting the sack and you could be burning hundreds of calories for every hour of revision you put in. Result!

Was it good for you?

Don’t revise

Revising is stressful. Stress leads to comfort eating, which leads to weight gain, which leads to more stress, and so the cycle continues. Do yourself a favour, and just put your feet up. By avoiding reality you avoid any associated emotional or comfort eating. Who said life had to be so tough?

Maybe not today

Take study drugs

In a recent article, The Tab tested the effects of popular study drug Modafinil. Sparking your concentration, the drug guarantees hours of meticulous note-taking and book-reading, not to mention turning you into the most antisocial person in the room. It was found that ‘you don’t eat, and you don’t really talk to people.’ Great for both revision, and your waistline.

But all the cool kids are doing it..

Buy bigger clothes

Like really freaking baggy. That way people will think you’re losing weight instead of gaining it.

You ain’t fooling anyone

Or if all else fails, just accept it

If your only comfort during the day is the prospect of another Mars Bar or your third Big Mac, then who I am to take that away from you? You’ve worked hard all year, and let’s face it, a few lbs isn’t going to make a difference to your love life. No one found you attractive anyway.

True love