Things you do for the first time at university

You come to university aiming for a first in your degree but quickly realise it’s not the only ‘first’ you’re likely to experience.

First fresher’s week

You arrive at halls and kiss your parents goodbye. The second they’re gone you pour yourself a pint ready for one of the most alcohol ridden, immune system destroying, liver damaging yet enjoyable week of your time at uni, and possibly life!

Down it, fresher!

I’ll call the shots

First unbiological family

The flat mates that were once so friendly start to show their true colours while the incest experienced during fresher’s comes to an end. You now have the love hate relationship of a normal family.

Family photo

First attempt at chores

For the past 18 years you were presented with food on the table and clean clothes each day. What you didn’t appreciate was the effort put into cooking, the hassle of cleaning your clothes and room or, worse of,  the soul destroying washing up once done by a dishwasher.

You can still see the floor… I think

They clean themselves, right?

First (and probably your last) lectures

You want to make a good impression to your tutors and decide to go to every lecture in the first week. The week after you claim that missing this one is fine as you’ll go to the next one but it soon becomes a weekly occurrence. Come exam period your fellow course ‘mates’ barely recognise who you are.

Don’t remember seeing this guy in a lecture before?

First one night stand

You catch the eye of an attractive individual (or not so as the case may be) in the club and start to work your magic. You’re cautious at first but quickly remember that your parents won’t be there to ‘cock block’ you. Your place or mine?

Enough room for two?

First experience with drugs

From your first WKD in the park to the first week of fresher’s, alcohol has always been there for you. Some of your flat mates begin to take drugs and out of curiosity you decide to give them a try. Nights out soon become based on alternative clothing and house music.

Not quite the drugs in mind…

First all nighter

Your life consists of being out all night and sleeping all day every day, as your social life has exploded on to a new level. You completely forget the reasons why you’re at uni and realise you have an essay in for tomorrow. You best hope Redbull is on offer at Sainburys!

100 words down, 4900 more to go

First bankruptcy

Your substantial student loan has run out and the money injected by your parents isn’t proving enough. Unaware of the high costs of being a BNOC you are soon left with no choice but to live off Pot Noodles and mine sweep clubs.

I can last the month on 61p?

First year

Exams have finished and summer is approaching. Your first year of uni has raced by quicker than Usian Bolt and you’re holding on to the hope that you aren’t the only one who wants to relive it all over again in 2nd year. Step up the internal fresher!

Refresher?