Ali G is bum out

It’s been around for a while now and it’s one of uni’s biggest selling points, but we all know it’s nothing compared to our old friend, John Rylands

1. The uni prospectus claims that it accommodates ‘more than 1000 students’. Realistically, the learning commons has just under 400 computer work stations, which are supposed to accommodate for  more than 60,000 users a month.

The only thing it's good for

Literally the only thing it’s good for

This is why you can never find a place to work if you get there after the 9am Ali G game players.

2. You have to be prepared for a dozen awkward ‘hellos’ when peeking over the booths on embarking the adventure of finding a place to work.

You would never get this in the never evanescing layout of a building that is the library.

3. Quite frankly, the architecture is crap. In 10 years, it will look as ghastly as the rusty Simon building. Honestly, Ali G looks like a modernisation of a 1970s Soviet Russian building that has been furnished in Eastern Europe.

Let me out

They could have been a little more imaginative than using the framework from the 1960s building that stood before.

4. Coffee tables – need I say anymore? They are probably the largest explanation for students’ reluctancy to spare an hour in the Learning Commons.

Get some proper tables.

Get some proper tables.


5. Although the pod-like work areas are one of the popular things about Ali G, there seems to be about five in the whole building, meaning that they’re never available.

Realistically though, they’re only decent for pretending that you’re a villain in a James Bond film.

6. If you want to get group work done, you’d expect that the Learning Commons would be the best place for it, boasting 30 bookable rooms. However, some of these don’t even have a whiteboard or computer.

Photo 01-05-2014 14 45 12

There’s not even much point booking a room because there’s no codes to get in like the library, so there’s always some kind of try hard claiming to have booked your room. But hey, you shouldn’t be supposed to know whether or not they’re lying, because the flakey system double books the rooms all the time anyway!

7. The noise levels. It’s obviously the perfect place to work as a group of revise with friends, but for some reason most people think that means its acceptable to catch up with each other as loudly as they like.

Murkage or Ali G?

Gorilla or Ali G?

Not to mention if you’re sat anywhere near the café that knocks cups about as if its a crockery smash.

In the library you’d be scorned at from all corners if your phone were to vibrate on the table, why is no one concerned in Ali G?

8. It may have won one of the Guardian’s University Awards for best project, but Man Met spent a bit more money and managed to beat us, with their new Art Buliding winning the Best Building in the North West.



That’s pretty embarrassing.

9. It’s obvious that there’s not much space to work, but what makes it worse is that people are forever inclined to take a whole study area for themselves, reserving places for their textbooks and water bottles.

Or when people DO THIS

Or when people DO THIS

10. The food. Paninis on foccacia may sound like the middle class dream, but really they’re just half a slice of some herby bread, with a filling covered in ridiculously greasy cheese. And if you don’t want one of these, there’s not a lot more to choose from, other than some questionable salads.

A better option