What are the food hygiene ratings of our favourite takeaways?

Looga is the home of cheap takeaways, where you can get anything ranging from pizza to chinese for a pretty decent price.

Sadly, these takeaways don’t always live up to their kingly titles, as even though they may satisfy the 10pm munchies crisis or the 3am drunk walk back from Echos, some of them have absolutely unforgivable food hygiene ratings. According to the Food Standards Agency, a rating of 0 to 5 (with 5 being the best) is given based on:

• How hygienically the food is handled – how it is prepared, cooked, re-heated, cooled and stored

• The condition of the structure of the buildings  – the cleanliness, layout, lighting, ventilation and other facilities

• How the business manages and records what it does to make sure food is safe

Maxin Chicken: 2

A two. We can handle a three. A three suggests you made a couple of minor mistakes, something which we can excuse as human error. But a two suggests you’re just absolutely useless. In some ways, it is even worse than a zero, as a two suggests you’ve tried but have failed miserably.

Maxin Chicken is a dying breed – it involves diverting from your drunken walk home, and when the food isn’t even that good, it is a massive waste of time. When Vice Versa was still a thing, before JIM took over, Maxin would be flooded with students desperate for their spicy chicken wings. When in reality, we are all really happy we don’t have to eat these pieces of poultry.

Kebab Master: 1

One of the most popular takeaways in Looga can’t even keep their premises clean enough with all the money that gets poured into this establishment on a nightly basis. Even though they only received a one, students still go there and will continue to go there; it won’t make a difference to their customers anyway.

Zheng’s: 0

How they got a zero is beyond belief. Zheng’s only opened a few months ago, the staff are unbelievably friendly, offering free samples to the majority of people who come in, and the restaurant area itself is spotlessly clean. But behind closed doors it must be a dump. This is heartbreaking, as the modernity and Americanisation of this Chinese takeaway convinces students it’s a clean place to eat, as well as how it makes Luff seem brighter and more colourful, taking it away from its dreary, Midlands appearance. Zheng’s can be a bit empty, and now we know why.

Saleh’s Kebab House: 0

This is probably the least surprising out of all the food hygiene ratings. How this place is still running baffles the majority of the students, but then again, the manager does give out free chips every now and again so we can’t really complain. The takeaway smells like someone has just dropped the biggest protein fart of the century, but it’s unbelievably cheap so it makes up for its “urgent need for improvement” rating.