Every stage of a girls’ night out at FND

We’re all pretty much familiar with the Friday 7pm struggle of telling your housemates you don’t want to go out, from inside a duvet cocoon watching Pretty Little Liars.

Going out is expensive as it is, and at Luff you’re stuck with going to the same places over and over. Seriously. How much more fun can FND get? Plus, do we really want to spend the whole of tomorrow hating alcohol more than ourselves? Apparently we do. Somehow, the excuse of having a dissertation to write does not seem to register with our friends, who all insist they are also drowning in coursework. Are they really friends? We are persuaded – mostly because getting drunk at the piazza bar seems more appealing than the essay due for next week – and the process begins.

Stage one: The preparation

Whatever we say to you, a lot of effort has gone into our outfit. We know it’s only the union, but we still need to try on each others crop tops several times and check we are all the same kind of dressy yet casual. Wearing flats is an unspoken rule. And yes we know we still take forever to get ready, but this winged eyeliner had to actually match on each side.

Stage two: The pres

For some reason we are always suddenly left with about half an hour until last entry. And of course this means we drink as much vodka as possible before ADT arrives to take us to the union. Honestly I don’t know why the Lufbra lads-can-drink-more stereotype even exists – it’s obviously not true. Also, we add 200 seconds worth of Snapchat stories showing off all our awesome friends and awesome uni kitchen. Everyone must know we are having a better time than them.

Stage three: The queue

The LSU queue. Also known as the freezing cold, giant mosh pit of absolutely trollied people trying to get into FND. To be honest, we don’t really understand either. And it’s not our fault we are freezing our tits off because we decided to only wear a strappy top without a jacket because we didn’t want to wait in the stupidly long cloakroom queue when we got in for 40 minutes.

Stage four: Vodka lemonades

This is the part where we spend the only bit of cash we had with us at the piazza bar, and we obviously aren’t going to use our initiative and spend the points we have on our swipe cards. Obviously. It’s also where we think we’re popular by introducing our course friends to all our housemates, even if we are only with them for one seminar a week.

Stage five: Losing EVERYONE

Where the hell is everyone? No matter how hard we try, someone always ends up by themselves in Room 1. There’s nothing like reading through the group WhatsApp the next day and finding garbled versions of “Where d’you go?” and “I’m still in Cogs!!”.

Stage six: What happened?

Nobody really knows what happens at this stage because the alcohol has usually hit us like a train. Whether it’s bigging up your halls corner in Room 1, grinding in cogs on some poor, innocent fresher because we think we are undeniably sexy, or crying in JC’s smoking area for no reason – it happens.

Stage 7: FOOD

You cannot really compare the need for Papa Si’s at this point to anything else. You just can’t. It usually involves finding a generous human who will give you some money or at least a bite of their meat feast. All hail the van of food.

Stage eight: The gossip

We’ve made it to the morning after. More or less. And with great hangovers comes great gossip. “You got with Richard guy from accounting? Ew”. It’s like secondary school all over again. We confess, Lufbra uni doesn’t have the most diverse nightlife, but we have the best union. There is no question. Unless you’re talking about Stuesday’s which is debatable. Us Looga ladies, drama and all, will remain faithful to it – we are obviously what makes it awesome.