Face it, Lufbra is pretty shit unless you play sport

Unless you’re an athlete, you can’t sit with us


Loughborough, Loogabooragah, Lowbrow, even if you can’t pronounce it, you probably know us for our sporting prowess.

As Lufbra students, we have some of the best sporting facilities in the UK on our doorstep. Our pitches, swimming pools and gyms have not only been used by our students but by team GB athletes and international sportsman, most recently the Tongan Rugby team during the Rugby world cup.

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Once my feet were firmly planted in the bubble I began to see that unless I played sport there really wasn’t much on offer for me. In fact, because I don’t play sport I’m eliminated from so many advantages on offer at Luff.

Yes, most of these perks revolve around drinking, and I understand this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But if it is, drinking as part of an AU club seems like a lot more fun. For a start, our SU loves you.

There are initiatives put in place on Wednesday’s just for you. During “AU warm up socials” the union is open from 9pm for AU clubs to down various drinks at a rate of three for £5. Apparently, only sportsmen like dirt-cheap alcohol as the rest of us low lives are excluded until 10.45 when Hey Ewe opens and prices go up.

I’ve spent the last 10 hours in the library writing an essay on how Freudian theory can be applied to Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing – I too deserve cheap drinks.

On top of these steals, this Wednesday AU took over Hey Ewe and had a lot more to offer than the cheesy playlists we’re all sick of. Activities included, beer pong, a mechanical rodeo sheep, karaoke, timed wheelbarrow races and an assault course.

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If you’re more of the artsy kind, I’m truly sorry you declined your offer from SOAS. Our uni tries, and there have been some amazing events put on by various societies throughout my time here, but this is thanks to the determination of individual and like-minded students.

Of course we haven’t won student experience for seven years running for no reason , LSU RAG , action and Media do amazing work but I think we should make these things more accessible than the one off pick a project nights. Their work throughout the year is tireless and so their visibility should match this.

People are going to say, that people who feel this way should not have come to a sports university, but this in itself is elitist. The uni is as good for sports science as it is good for engineering and textiles and design.

They get little or no help from our union, and booking decent spaces for events on campus can be a nightmare. You can look forward to a handful of one off events throughout the year such as LSU RAG’s colour dash, the final year art students’ exhibition (at the end of the year) and Luf ACS’s edition of “Take Me Out”.

Of course, the sporty students support Lufbra to the death and continuously ask us: “If you want the benefits, then why don’t you start playing sport?”

My question to you is why don’t you become a spoken word poet, a violinist or Picasso reincarnated? Because it’s not that easy.

The beloved Kukri merch

The beloved Kukri merch

Let’s face it, some people are more gifted in some areas then others. You might be fast, agile and strong but others have no hand eye coordination, can’t commit to the 7am training lifestyle or fork out the joining fees for these clubs. For example, an AU American football sub is £105, excluding Kukri training merch.

In spite of this, us lowly ones would still like the union to show us some love from time to time.

Many people get accepted to Lufbra and start dreaming of the chiselled, Sports Illustrated physique they will leave with, when in reality that just isn’t true.

You might think that coming to a sports uni means you’ll have the opportunity to rekindle the love you had for GCSE Basketball, but you’ll be in for a shock. You’ll soon find out that our sports teams are for the elite.

For the most part, everyone is already quite good; they are already beasts on the court, they have already cultivated their talents. Now they’re at Lufbra they just have the amazing facilities to train harder in. Sorry to burst your bubble.

So don’t feel bad, the secret is out. It’s not just you wondering if Luff’s a bit shit, if you don’t play sport it probably is.