Forget everything you know about Beijing: the real picture is very different.

The first 16 years of my life were in China. Having now come to the U.K I’ve realised people’s perceptions of China and the real China are two very different things. The big cities of China, like Beijing, are not as exotic or glamorous as we often think they are, but they’re still pretty exciting. Let me give you some insight into what life in Beijing is really like.

It’s nothing like Chinatown

Most people live in grey, soviet-style apartment blocks and although the aesthetic is wanting, they’re an improvement on the more traditional Chinese villas because they have plumbing.

A top tip in Beijing is it’s always best to wait until you get home before using the toilet. My parents told me stories of using public toilets back in the ’80s. Well, I say toilets, they were mostly dark rooms with a line of holes in the ground and not even a small partition between them. The toilets have come some way since then, but if you’re even slightly squeamish I’d recommend giving them a miss on your tour of the city.

Chinese food is more than just rice and noodles

A bit different from the standard meat and chips

Contrary to popular opinion, the Chinese eat more than just rice and noodles. There’s normally quite a lot of variety and if you go the right restaurant it’s some of the best food you can find. A Beijing restaurant speciality is to allow you to select a live fish from a tank for your meal.

However, there are some Chinese eating habits that will put you off food for the rest of your life. Another Chinese speciality is something that they call “stinky tofu” – for good reason as it sort of smells like a rubbish tip or smelly feet. Chinese street stalls are renowned for selling scorpion on a stick. In Britain we have a kebab after a club, in China it’s more like a good bit of scorpion. Rather than getting the standard curry after a night out be adventurous, go to Chinatown and get a bit of scorpion-I’m told they taste just like crisps.

The night

When you think great nightlife you may think Barcelona, Paris, Berlin, Ibiza, probably not Beijing. But in the city-centre there’s a street that everyone calls “bar street” and surprise surprise it’s full of bars and clubs. If you thought clubbing in Newcastle  and Liverpool was cheap try Beijing. Yes, the drinks are pretty shit, but you normally get them for free- that’s right free of charge! I didn’t go to many Beijing clubs because I was 16 when I left, but just the fact that they let me in to several clubs when I was 15 (and looked like I was 13) means an ID is not a necessity.

I remember going to a club called “Juicy” as a 15-year-old. The bouncer didn’t bat an eyelid and for 5 pounds you got unlimited drinks – in hindsight that brilliant marketing scheme is probably why it got shutdown. If you want to go to a fancy, respectable club go to Mayfair, but if you want to go to a dodgy place where the drinks are awful, but it’s really cheap and they’ll let you in even if you look homeless, then this is right up your street.

 The Great Wall of China has a great Toboggan Run

Really cultured.

Most people probably associate China with the Great Wall and yeah fair enough it’s actually awesome. It’s a few hours by car from Beijing and although it’s a lot of walking, it’s definitely worth it. The best part isn’t the view, the ruins or the history – that’s what you’re parents will say to try and sound cultured – no, the best part is the toboggan.

After you’ve reached the end of the section you get strapped into a little cart and you fly down the mountain on a steel slide. Yes, it’s as fun as it sounds and the best part is that the Chinese usually go down it very slowly, so if you catch up you can bump into the back of the person in front and pretend it was an accident. So it basically becomes bumper cars.

It’s healthier to stay indoors…and you can buy canned air.

Netflix and live?

Other than the Great Wall, pollution is really what Beijing is known for. Most westerners know about the pollution, but it’s sometimes so bad school has to be called off.  International schools have built domes around campus in order for the pupils to be able to play sport outside without inhaling toxic fumes. Some companies have even started selling canned air… yes I said canned air and yes people do actually buy it.

Now this may discourage you from going to Beijing, but on the bright side there’s little chance of you getting sunburnt, as you can rarely see the sun through the dense layer of smog. If you want to tan then you should probably go to the French Riviera, if you want to live dangerously come to Beijing.