We asked students why you should support Donald Trump

Try and trump that Hilary…


With less than a week to go before the most controversial Presidential election in history, The Tab decided to give a voice to those of the cognoscenti who – if a little flinchingly – support everyone’s favourite foul-mouthed tangerine.

Here are just a few reasons why UCL students think Donald Trump should be the next President of the United States.

Rob

“People found it creepy when Donald said if Ivanka weren’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.
But come on, be realistic – if Ivanka were my daughter I’d be dating her, so what he said is actually incredibly considerate. A hot daughter like that is what America needs. 10/10 would bang.”

Gerard


“Clinton? Christ in a bucket no. If I wanted to have a woman tell me what to do, I’d have got married. But instead, I adopted a mentally ill orangutan who flings his shit at me. I couldn’t be happier. Vote Trump.”

‘Kenneth’

“People say Trump doesn’t respect facts. But facts are overrated anyway. ‘Facts’ got me a 3rd in my sociology essay. ‘Facts’ put me on the sex offender’s register. With Trump as POTUS, we can do away with ‘facts’ altogether.”

Izzy

“Burritos don’t taste that good anyway.”

Danny

“I’ve been working on a version of Top Trumps with American presidents past and present and I’ve spent £2000 over the last 7 years working on a good name for them. A Trump victory would solve all my problems. “

Gavin

“People say Hillary’s got experience, but where was she when the Mongols invaded China? She barely lifted a finger at the Somme, and now she wants to lecture me about responsibility?!”

Emili

“Trump’s ‘Grab Them By The Pussy’ comment was just a reflection of the average American man, and who doesn’t want that kind of refreshing honesty?
I for one can’t think of anything more indicative of strong, no nonsense leadership than a man who is ready to grab me by my genitalia and violate me with no concern for my own opinion.
Conquering all vaginas is the final step in expressing America’s manifest destiny.

Gabriel L

“People always fear change. That’s why they’re scared of Trump. And that’s why I’m scared of ethnic diversity. #TrumpPence2016”

Kate

“America’s hot, young, vulnerable and broke. Trump’s the sugardaddy it needs.”

Matthew


“With the recent emergence of greater numbers of powerful female politicians it’s important that we retain some of the male aggression that makes politics so exciting.”

Jack

“I’m with Trump! His unique foreign policy will put ISIS back on the map! He’s so good I’m gonna vote for him twice!”

Azaan

“Trump is to Muslims what ISIS is to Muslims. He protects us.”

Matthew

“He says it how it is. And how it isn’t. And how he thinks it is. And how he pretends to think it is. And I respect that.”