What drink is your course?

It won’t matter when you’re drunk


Architecture – Absinthe

Architects are the only people that need something stronger than the medics to get them through a whopping seven years of uni. And absinthe is just as likely to kill them as their degree is.

Arts and Sciences – Disaronno

Is it sweet or is it sour? Is it arts or is it sciences? No one really knows but apparently it goes with everything. Mix it up with some lemon and you’ve got yourself a Disaronno sour and mix it up with some Baileys and ice cream and you’ve got yourself the best boozey milkshake ever. Just like arts and sciences, it goes with everything.

Biochemistry – English Sparkling Wine

They’re not biology or chemistry. So what are they? It’s not champagne or wine so what is it? Let’s be honest, English sparkling wine is what you have when there’s no champagne and Biochemistry is what you do when you don’t get into medicine.

Chemistry – Jägermeister

Not a Jägerbomb, just pure Jäger. Jäger is such a weird mixture of weird things, with something like 56 different herbs, roots, fruits and spices. Kind of like a chemistry experiment gone wrong.

Classics – Whisky on the rocks

Whiskey on the rocks is the kind of drink that you sip slowly while having a serious arts conversation. You know, like an educated discussion about Catullus and how many kisses Lesbia really would have to give him for him to be satisfied.

Computer Science – Coffee

Let’s face it, you don’t have time to drink because you’re up all night coding. And nothing will get you through the night better than a strong caffeinated beverage. But if you must insist on an alcoholic beverage, make it Irish.

Economics – Guinness

They’re all gonna end up extremely rich bankers and as such, will be found in the pub after work on a Friday in their Savile Row suits pounding down the Guinness. They look professional on the outside but they’re lads (and lasses) at heart.

Engineering – Long Island Iced Tea

Engineering is all about precision, and so is a long island iced tea. It needs to contain the exact amount of its many ingredients to be done right. It also contains four different spirits (vodka, gin, tequila and rum) which is just enough to keep engineers in high spirits.

English Literature – White Wine

You’re sophisticated, but not quite sophisticated enough for red wine. White wine is also a feminine choice as is English Literature. It make the perfect accompaniment to a long evening discussing Macbeth with fellow scholars.

Geography – Cider

Geography is the kind of thing you pick when you’re not really sure what else to go for. And the same applies for ordering cider at the pub. You can’t really go wrong with it, but you can’t really go right with it either. It’s just alright. And just like Geography’s not much of a step up from A level, cider isn’t much of a step up from a fizzy drink.

History – Stout

Stout is as dark as most history is. You start off freshers all excited with the feeling of tasting a traditional drink, but by the time you reach third year, you just want it all to be over so that you can do/drink something else. And once it is over, Stout will be history, just like your course.

History of Art – Kaiser

Not the Kaiser Chiefs, the Belgian beer. It’s the hipster beer that art historians won’t stop talking about but which is as rare and hard to find as guys on the course. It’s the love of their life, along with Michelangelo. It’s the drink they go to for comfort after someone idiotically mistakes a Greek sculpture for a Roman one.

Law – Gimlet

It’s strong and sophisticated, but it’s not for everybody because of its flavour and punch. It’s also cloudy because the law is murky, and it’s served in a martini glass to add to its pretentiousness. Just as the world views law students, it’s either unimaginative and boring, or a classic.

Mathematics – Sex on the Beach

If your maths teacher is the hotness of Pietro Boselli you’re gonna be ordering these like there’s no tomorrow, demanding favours to match the cocktail name.

Medicine – Tequila

Everybody hates it, yet for some inexplicable reason, it continues to be drunk. Just as medics cry at their 6 year long degrees, tequila makes us shed tears because of its disgustingness. You’ve gotta be pretty hard to chug down tequila shots, and medics are just that. They know how to party. And if they can endure £54,000 worth of debt, they can take a bit of tequila with a pinch of salt.

Modern Languages – Sangria

Modern languages can be a combo of a load of different languages, just like Sangria is a mixture of so many good things. Plus, there’s no denying that most linguists spend their year abroad drinking this stuff. It screams Spain and Europe and the sunny Mediterranean. Maybe not so much if you do Scandinavian Studies though.

Philosophy – Red Wine

Red wine was the drink of all the great Greek and Roman philosophers. Plato, Socrates, you name them. So it’s only natural for the tradition to continue with today’s philosophy students. Its dark tones also imply the dark side of philosophy, and there are so many different types of red wine, just as there are so many conflicting philosophical stances.

Physics – Vodka

Physics is hard and so is vodka. But just like physics, vodka is crystal clear (once you understand the maths behind it). They’re also both masters of disguise. Physics sometimes passes as maths just as vodka can sometimes pass for water. A common misconception.

Politics – Gin & Tonic

It’s boring, as most people think you are. It’s a safe choice when you don’t want to go for an adventurous cocktail but still want to get away with having a cocktail. And it’s the type of drink that leads to political bar disagreements rather than pub fights.

Psychology – Pina Colada

It’s fun and sexy, just like psychology students are known to be. It’s also got the foaminess and the cloudiness like how mental diseases are confusing and mysterious.