Someone had a poo in an Astor lift

Last week, during one of the infamous “Astor pres”, an unknown person took a poo in one of the two lifts at Astor College. 

Zen, one of the first Astor residents to find the poo, was quite shocked when he found it, describing the faeces as “really disgusting”. He didn’t waste time before warning his group of friends so that no one would get into the lift. Reactions among people were mixed: some of them found it funny; others not so much.

One eye witness caught the serial-shitter red-handed and described them as wearing “pink shoes”, leading us to believe the culprit is a woman, although no more of their identity is known. Some speculate they might be from Max Rayne.

For many, the little shit in the lift was a funny anecdote to tell at a cocktail party. But for Astor residents, that lift will forever be “the lift where someone took a shit”.

I personally began to ponder life following the incident: how different are we really from animals?  How far can you push the “I was so drunk last night” excuse? Aristotle once said “man is a political animal.” I wonder if he was too optimistic with the first bit.