Exeter is the best town on earth

If you’ve ever got off a train at Exeter St. David’s, the first thing you’ll notice is a wall of fresh air – you’re in the biggest city in the South-West (Bristol doesn’t count) and yet the air-quality is like being in a field. That is just one tiny reason why Exeter is the best city in the UK. Its nightlife, for one, is completely overlooked – and we haven’t even mentioned the cathedral yet.

The nightlife isn’t mad, but it does the job

If you’re after a mad night out on the town, it can leave a lot to be desired. A big night ends at 2.30am, and a few years ago one club did actually stay open until 4am. It’s no longer around. But the most important decision of any Exeter night out isn’t where you’re going to go – there isn’t a massive choice in music anyway – but whose house you’re going to stay at.  I don’t mean a one night stand – I literally mean a mate who will allow you to sleep on his sofa providing his Mum doesn’t mind. Buses stop running at around 9pm, and it can often be a 20 mile trek down solitary country lane home (or as my friends used to say “Well Crimewatch”). The prospect of a £40 taxi ride really can put a dampener on the night, but at least you know you’re going to see everyone you know. And that’s what a good night out is all about.

It’s the true country lyf

Exeter’s wonderful: heaven-on-earth or even an idyllic camera-pan scene from Countryfile. There is something sewn into the red-mud of Exeter that makes one yearn for a Cornish Pasty and a flagon of Cider. Whether it’s the pirate-esque accents or that you know somebody because he’s “Auntie-Jackie’s sister’s brother’s boy”, London and other cities just don’t quite compare.  Also where else can you watch a ploughing competition? Certainly not in Hoxton anyway.

Better than the back of Dalston Kingsland

You actually have privacy

Devon is one of the few places where you actually can enjoy some privacy. You may like to pretend closing the door of your bedsit behind King’s Cross is private, but we both know that’s a steaming pile of bullshit. In Devon you can wake up in the morning and gaze in a magnificent pose, sipping on a cup of organic tea with locally produced milk safe in the knowledge you’re nearest neighbour, ol’ Peggy lives five miles away. Your plywood venetian blind has never admitted more than thin slithers of natural light in the two years you’ve rented this over-priced property. When you’re in the kitchen playing some absolute bangers, you’re always reminded you’ve already had three noise complaints from Jo and John who live next to you and the old woman who always seems to be watering her pot plants has accidentally seen you boogieing in your birthday suit.

Peace and quiet

When it’s dark it’s dark

OK so London does have some perks – it’s a two minute walk to the nearest shop and there’s a 24/7 bus link, but does this really matter in the long run? When you turn off your light in London it’s more a matter of course than a sincere attempt to make the room dark. Your room will be flooded by the streetlight just outside your window and instead of a symphony of barn-owls lulling you into a well-rested sleep, you have the constant cacophony of police sirens, stereos and drunkards carousing the street shouting racial expletives.

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