The emotional stages of completing Dry January

Lime and tonic is surprisingly satisfying


University is a time when you learn, broaden your horizons and irrevocably damage your liver with excessive alcohol intake. Everyone doing Dry January likes to bang on about the benefits of not drinking for a month, and even though I couldn’t quite manage a whole month of being the only person sober in Loop (I finally caved in at a comedy night on the last Saturday of January), it did teach me a lot.

You feel well-rested with fewer hours of sleep

Six to seven hours sleep a night is more than enough to feel bright-eyed and bushy tailed. You’ll be dancing and pirouetting towards the breakfast table while overtaking your flatmates, who will undoubtedly be grunting and shuffling towards the shower after a heavy one. Previously, any start before eight would immediately need a mug or two of coffee in order for you to metamorphose out of the morning Neanderthal into an active, functioning member of society. Now caffeine feels like a superfluity, drunk more out of habit than for the stimulant.

Regrets

You’re so much more productive without hangovers

Was it Rene Descartes who once said “five pints of Stella and you’ll be a sick fella”? Perhaps not, but keeping a clear-head means you don’t wake up at midday with the summersaulting stomach and thumping headache which comes from consuming your body weight in Snakebite. You may be a little bit tired if you go out, but at least you can actually follow what your lecturer is banging on about.

You soon shed the festive food baby

An entire month attending Christmas parties and drinking to excess leaves everyone feeling slightly like Jabba the Hutt.  Without alcohol, the Christmas paunch goes faster than Piers Morgan from a press inquiry. An average pint contains 180 calories and the inevitable Maccy-D’s can come in at around 1,500 calories – all of which you miss out on when you stick to the cranberry juice.

Before I stopped drinking

After I stopped drinking

You actually remember the night without any regrets

We’ve all done it: drank too much and forgot exactly what happened or why you have bruises all down your left leg. With a clear-head you can at least make a better decision as to whether you’d actually look cool doing a superman jump over the railing by Cruciform.

You can spend you’re newfound wealth on unnecessary superfluities

Perhaps the biggest benefit is your wallet will feel significantly heavier – a glass of tap water is pretty cost-effective in most establishments (and rehydrates you a bit better than London Pride). If you’re sensible, put the money aside and save it for a nice holiday or perhaps a computer, but if you’re still impetuously young and short-sighted, buy a whole new range of ASOS clothes and food other than Sainsbury’s Basics.

Gourmet right?

You realise there are alternative ways to relax that don’t involve drinking

No I don’t mean smoking cannabis. I’ve been at UCL for nearly two years now and it’s only been in the last month where I have actually started to take advantage of the fact I live in a city which has so much to do: free museums with dinosaurs, or locks of a King’s hair are just some examples.

Your friends will be the biggest obstacle

The hardest part is resisting the incessant imploring of your friends to give it up and down a pint. At parties, pubs and nights-out, your friends will do anything to slip a cheeky finger of vodka into your orange juice, or put some tequila in your Schloer. You have to keep a watchful eye on your drink and maintain an iron will to refuse the tempting offer of your friend paying for you to drink, but just hang on in there.

Will power

Life will be a little boring

Without the prospect of a mid-week booze up, you’ll find yourself in the normal humdrum of real life. The only thing that makes a Wednesday special is that BBC Three shows four episodes of Family Guy, rather than the usual three.

Absolute nutter

You will have the right to be smug when your friend emerges from the bedroom at four in the afternoon, but at the same time you did miss the usually quiet Eric from statistics throwing up in a police-man’s helmet while wearing a tutu. It’s hit and miss, but it’s probably worth it for the month.