It’s time to end our Loop love affair

It’s not me it’s you


University is a place where love affairs, old and new, come to an end. A drunken snog in Koko can often spell a week of teary, apologetic texts followed by the inevitable break-up and the embarrassment of facing your mates who told you it wouldn’t last longer than fresher’s week anyway.

However, the students of UCL have stayed faithful to one lover throughout. Loop.

We even put up with the sweat

We even put up with the sweat

Picture the scene, UCL lift the varsity series cup, the snakebites are flowing, a few freshers gingerly try to start a round of Burlington Bertie somewhere at the back of Phineas. What’s missing?

Our beloved Loop of course, always there for us, celebrating the good times and aiding drunken student debauchery – which is reason enough to love it. We have loved and been loved for better or worse in equal measures and the Loop toilets have offered shelter to many a drunken mess.

For some of us, the only sporting connection to the Wednesday social is playing the football game in the urinals (you know the one), and for others, societies dictate mandatory attendance. But that’s never been a problem, sports night is for all to enjoy.

They're not even wearing ties

They’re not even wearing ties

Yet I think it may be time to call it quits. In recent months Loop security have increased measures to reduce raucous behaviour – or fun, as some people call it –  in order to curb any outlandish antics. Such measures have primarily consisted of telling people to stop making noise in the queue and smoking area when talking at conversation volume.

The torture ensues inside too though, I could put up with Loop’s sweatiness for a while, but is it not worth finding a new club to love? Maybe one with some air conditioning?

Nothing says class like a multi-coloured dancefloor.

Nothing says class like a multi-coloured dancefloor.

Since September this year numerous individuals have been banned from the club for seemingly arbitrary (ok, and not so arbitrary) reasons which has caused frustration amongst many of its most loyal patrons. The uncompromising nature of many of the door staff has meant some students have been permanently banned from their own sports night. How long before we’re all banned anyway?

Given the mounting tension between students and door staff in recent months, it seems likely this could spell the end for Sports Night at Loop.

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JB might find Loop empty next time he’s in town

We became involved with Loop after it all got a bit hectic with our ex Moonies. But, like the author’s ability to sustain this metaphor, our relationship is starting to break down.

Let’s be honest, it all went down hill a while ago when clubbers were told no drinks on the dance floor. It’s time to move on to bigger and better things: where this will take us, who knows but Loop is cramping UCL’s style.

We need to find somewhere that will take us as we are, in all our toga-clad, purple-lipped glory.

It’s time to say goodbye, we should know when to let a good thing die and try and grow from the experience. Sure we’ve had good times – don’t cry – but it’s time to move on. Although it is definitely you, not us.

Let’s part on good terms, we can still be friends, just don’t text when you’re missing us on a Wednesday, expecting to get us over for a catch-up. We can’t be friends like that, that’d be weird.