UCL ranked 21st in the world by yet another league table

Does anyone still care about these?

UCL has been ranked a paltry 21st in the world by a new league table – just days after another listed us at 14th.

The latest rankings, complied by obscure American website U.S. News and World Report, reckon we’re 4th best in the UK – lagging behind Imperial and the Oxbridge colleges who rejected us.

South Kensington’s weirdo scientists are 18th, with Oxford 5th and Cambridge 6th.

The Times Higher Education World University rankings, released at the end of last month, have UCL at 14th.

And the notoriously generous QS World University Rankings table – long-beloved of insecure keeno freshers – see us reaching the heady heights of 7th.

Woo yay woo

Woo yay woo

U.S. News calculated our disappointing ranking on the basis of academic criteria as opposed to student satisfaction.

Nerdy categories included number of books and publications, citations and PhDs awarded.

UCL has been gradually slipping down the global rankings since its high of 4th in 2013.

Third year Classicist Jonny Richmond said: “If I’d known things were going to end up this way, I’d have just gone to Durham.”