London falls to poor third in rankings for world’s best student city 

City of Light casts darkness on miserable capital

London has fallen to third place in the world rankings for “best student cities”.

The list is compiled by the company that bruised Oxbridge rejects at UCL love to quote, QS.

Paris is now the best city for students according to the World University Rankings.

London dropped a place from last year because of unbearable rises in the cost of living, with the price of rent and decent MD increasing 20%.


The gentrified dystopia we call home

UCL’s rip-off rent is the most expensive in the country. Rooms cost an outrageous £205 a week – although the university provides freshers complimentary mice, cockroaches and flooded toilets.

The only positive note from QS’ survey is that London scored top in the world for postgraduate employment, cheering careerists at UCL and elsewhere.


UCL freshers making the most of all the free air

The only other English cities to be included in the top fifty were Manchester (29) and nobodies Coventry (45).

Only 1 in 5 at London’s inaccessibly expensive universities is working class, but the price of studying in the capital is biting for all students.

A UCL Second Year said: “I pay far too much for beer and food and nobody talks to me on the tube.

“The only time UCL is cheap is Monday at Phineas. Even then then the wine is shit and it costs an arm and a leg getting there and back.”





“When friends from other unis hear I pay £140 a month renting a squalid flat in Archway, they retort: ‘yeah, but it’s London, you get to live in London’.

“The London they’re thinking of is a never-ending carousel of dating, clubbing and top of the range MD by night, with sourdough, craft beer and free live music by day.

“Not here.

“Beyond the symphony of drilling and building works waking me up every morning, there’s no free music (or free anything).

“The reality is that London isn’t remotely affordable.

“We haemorrhage hundreds of of pounds on commuting and paying rent so there’s simply nothing left, no loan or parental charity, for fine dining and romance.

“The cosmopolitan dream is, well, precisely that: a dream.

“Most of us are living the nightmare: discount aisle sardines for lunch and tightly packed cigarettes for breakfast and dinner.

“I’m underwhelmed and my account is overdrawn. London shouldn’t be third – or anywhere near it.”