We’ve raised him from the dead to write one of our weekly columns.
Monday: Slow day today.
Tuesday: Another slow day. Where the fuck’s my head?
Wednesday: Today marked the 180th year since I was embalmed. That’s a long time to be in a glass case #occupy
Thursday: Thursday is cleaning day and so the only chance I have to get some fresh air and talk to someone. Unfortunately, back in the day Spanish clashed with Utilitarianism so I can’t understand Consuela. She seems friendly though.
Friday: Chemical Engineering Class of ’97 having a reunion in the South Cloisters today. Apparently Chris Martin was a twat. I remember when he used to rehearse in the Cloisters after hours and keep me up at night with those other three jokers #rushofbloodtothehead
Saturday: Football at King’s this afternoon. Hopefully they won’t use my head as the ball again.
Sunday: Glad it’s Sunday- the day of rest. Have time to plan the coming week.
Embrace the price tag, you’re in London darling don’t kid yourself
Students and staff are protesting this decision
Feautring Mr Worldwide in his true form
Stereotyping? Don’t know what you’re on about
However it won’t be all lines opening
Several witnesses claim the student shouted: ‘Shut up you dumb black bitch’
‘Why didn’t I go to a cheese and wine night instead?’
‘Everyone needs to hear the harsh realities of our lives as women’
‘Generation One offers everyone the chance to understand the science behind the issues facing our planet’
A reminder to take care under the wraths of Covid and uni stress
Police have made no arrests and enquiries are ongoing
She met with researchers from the IOE and Faculty of Brain Sciences to discuss their ‘landmark early years study’
Moral of the story – go to UCL
Take my word, ye fresher: thou art what thou drinketh
Freshers’ is fun, but not for all of us
The freshers beach party definitely made a *splash*
We’ve all wanted to murder a success story student at least once
‘Hi, what’s your name, what do you study and what vaccine did you get?’
Your top five supermarkets rated, including by the likelihood of meeting your best frenemies there
We take vegan sausage rolls very seriously here
I’ll take anyone who’s not Love or Joe
Joe Goldberg exclusively obsesses over people NOT on TikTok, sweetie
Sorry, but you can’t all be Cousin Greg
Justice for number three!!!
Only Lindsay Lohan would get full marks
The Tab surveyed over 23,000 students and young people. Here are the shocking results
‘This isn’t an attack on clubs, but really an attempt to reverse ignorance and an opportunity to work together’
Can I date Joe Goldberg? Yes or no?
My favourite days are the ones with bones x
Sorry, that is not Joe Goldberg?!
As someone with health anxiety, my method of escape is now part of my fear
Let’s be real, not many do
Get the tissues because we’re weeping
There are some very juicy texts in here
Staff at over 150 unis are voting on whether to hold strikes
Honestly, why is Love like this?
I can’t stop singing ‘go best friend’ pls help
In love and rich? Life isn’t fair
In real life, Theo is older than Love