The poshest societies at UCL

Hello there old chap. Help yourself to some Port. Cigar?

Now, I must congratulate you; your superior intelligence has placed you within one of the finest educational establishments in the world. ‘Du monde’ as our French cousins would say.

Encased in these magnificent white walls are the brightest young minds of the future, with a thirst for knowledge in their hearts and often, a lot of money in the bank.

Despite the University College of London being founded on those darned ‘socialist’ principles, somehow the elite have clawed their way back in. Sorry clawed? I mean, mounted a horse and elegantly trotted back.

Thus, the Clubs and Societies Centre have privileged us with the finest institutions, catering to our every (un)necessary need.

Therefore, please do endeavour to partake in the following societies as they provide well-bred company, suitable activities and something to spend your wasted wealth on. It’s all so exciting! Woops, almost dropped my musket.

Croquet Club

Don your hat and grab your mallet; it’s croquet time old boy! Turns out ‘bisque’ is not just a posh way of saying biscuit. Croquet Club will teach you all you need to know about this fine fine game and allow you to meet some fine fine people along the way.

Investment Society

Do ‘corporate excursions’ tickle your stock exchange? Then Investment Society is most certainly worth investing in (it’s free to join). One of their aims is to ‘provide the maximum potential benefit for our sponsors’. I’m very happy to see that at least some UCLU societies have their priorities right; by the people, for the better people that’s my motto.

Horse Racing Society

After a long evening of working at my mahogany desk, a day at the races is a well deserved break. The champagne, the excitement, the hats; I couldn’t think of a better way to pass my time or spend my spare money.

Conservative Society

Upholding tradition and British standards since 1908, the UCLU Conservative Society is the oldest Conservative student association in England. Naturally. Be sure to attend their ‘Port and Policy’ sessions. Indeed, this does exactly what it says on the decadent tin; namely drink port and discuss policies. What a marvellous idea!

Gliding Club

Soar above the rest of society, literally. As probably the most expensive club to join, with a membership fee of £40, if you happen to stumble across two spare twenties in your fourth bathroom you may as well put them to good use. Not for those with a weak disposition or a weak wallet.