Election Stereotypes

With elections currently in full swing the mysterious UCL Green Man takes a look at some of the election candidates you’ll be able to spot round campus gunning for your precious votes.

The Lefty Candidate:

Most likely to wear: An asymmetric haircut and checked shirt
Most likely to say: “This is an unprecedented attack on our education”Least likely to say: “I’m going to approach this with an open mind. What do you think?”
Most likely to study: History or English
Most likely to vote: for an angry motion reiterating why education must be free for all rather than doing anything about it

The Conservative Candidate:

Most likely to wear: Chinos and headbands.
Most likely to say: “UCL is a global institution”
Least likely to say: “Free education at every level”
Most likely to study: Economics
Most likely to vote: for a motion retracting a previous motion put in by the Union Lefties

The Sports Candidate:

Most likely to wear: Face paint and fancy dress
Most likely to say: “Students want fun”
Least likely to say: “I thought I made that clear in my 100 page response to the government’s white paper on HE”
Most likely to study: the Roxy drinks menu. Lol jk, a pitcher of long island ice tea please
Most likely to vote: for Obama

The Green Candidate:

Most likely to wear: hemp and unwashed hair
Most likely to say: “a global university should be a sustainable and green university”
Least likely to say: “I guess not many students really care about being green”
Most likely to study: whilst high
Most likely to vote: for more water fountains

The Average Student:

Most likely to wear: Jeans
Most likely to say: “I’m apolitical”
Least likely to say: “I can’t believe that the chair of council ignored my point of information when it was clearly valid as I was pointing out the factual inaccuracies in my esteemed colleague’s speech”
Most likely to study: Natural Sciences
Most likely to vote: in abstention because they don’t understand what the union hacks are talking about