Day three of Luke’s refreshers diary sees him head to Club Neon at Fabric.

Mission Three: Club Neon at Fabric


Enthusiastic crowd…

After the excitement of the SSEES pub crawl Wednesday night brought a trip to Fabric for Club Neon. I had never attended a Club Neon event before and on my only prior trip to Fabric I’d had to queue for over an hour to get in- so hopes weren’t high setting off.

Club Neon required the liberal use of luminous crayons, which resulted in me sporting a beard and moustache that any self respecting French stereotype would have been proud of. One of my flatmates on the other hand opted for eyeliner which made him look like a cross between Adam Ant and a slightly drunk panda.

Inside it’s heaving and the room with the stage- for want of a better description- is what I imagine hell will be like. Spending eternity listening to incredibly loud music whilst sweaty freshers push and pull me every which way before spilling spirits over me from a height is enough to convince me to find a religion and find one fast.

On the plus side the UV lights are showing up everyone’s costumes fantastically. A big pink Union Flag on my arm doesn’t last the pace but a hasty attempt at war paint on my face is a bit more successful. I spot one fresher who has drawn a six pack onto his t-shirt, which is a better idea than the lewd messages scrawled on other people’s clothes.

So far my experience of refreshers hasn’t involved me having to see anyone actually throw up. In fact I’ve never experienced anyone throwing up in a club before outside of the toilets. Not so for a guy hanging around near the bar, who definitely seems to bring something nasty up onto the floor. Nice.

A trip to the sort of unisex toilets is surprisingly free of that sort of thing, although I still find the concept a bit odd. Normally finding the toilets in Fabric can be a bit of a mission but this time a queue of glowing Freshers can be spotted a mile off. Perhaps this should become mandatory in all clubs.

On the whole though Club Neon was a cracking night with the slight problem posed by how to get back to Camden. That meant two buses via Kings Cross and walking around London covered in neon writing. By the time I reached Kings Cross I was the only person around who was still neon, the rest having disappeared somewhere along the way.

The journey was made more interesting however by the snippet of conversation I heard on the way home on the first bus. The girl behind me was regaling her friend of a tale from Prague when her friend had managed to vomit seven times in a day due to a hangover, including once on a tram. Stay classy dear.

Thankfully I made it home incident free having discovered that Fabric isn’t actually as bad as I thought it was. In fact it seems being luminous makes things a whole lot more fun. If the same could be said for the many couples trading body paint on the dancefloor then I’d call it a succesfull night had by all.