Uni nightmares every student should avoid this term

Make sure you survive all the post-exam partying


It may seem years away at the moment, but soon the exams and dissertations will all be finished and you’ll be spending every waking moment either at a party or on your way to one.

From end of year balls to formal dinners, house parties to society socials, May is the month that makes all the other rubbish at uni worthwhile. Which is why it’s really important not to mess it up.

Avoid all of these mistakes for your end of year parties and you should be okay…

Don’t wear a dirty suit/dress

You’ve got three fancy parties in the space of a week but don’t think you can get away with wearing the same outfit each time without washing it. Especially after you’ve spilled red wine down it on the first night.

Thankfully, you can get your suit or dress dry-cleaned and returned to you within 24 hours by Zipjet, the mobile laundry service. They’ll pickup and collect your dirty clothes from wherever you want, and you can get a suit or dress dry-cleaned for just £10.

Plus, Tab readers get £10 off their first order with voucher code ZIPTAB, so that’s basically the same as giving you one free clean. No more wine-stained shirts and dresses!

Don’t get stuck taking your drunk friend home

We all have one person in our friendship group who hits the pres a little too hard (if you can’t think of anyone then you’re that person), but hopefully you’ve learned by now that you should never, under any circumstance, volunteer to take them home.

A night out with this person becomes a weird game of chicken where everyone else tries to stay as close to them as possible without being the one nearest to them when they inevitably chunder everywhere on the dancefloor. If that happens and you’re unlucky enough to be by their side, you will be expected to call them a taxi.

Don’t fall asleep on the night bus

Fairly self-explanatory this. Have you seen the exotic destination names on some of the night buses in London? You may drunkenly think Hainault actually sounds quite charming, but you don’t want to end up stuck there at five in the morning. Trust us, there’s nothing to do there at that time but freeze to death.

If you need to get home and you can’t rely on staying awake for the journey home, at least get an Uber.

Don’t get locked out

How many times have you forgotten your keys or locked yourself out this year? It’s probably happened at least once by now, but if you do it this term nobody will have any sympathy for you, which means you won’t have anyone rushing to the rescue.

Instead, be prepared to sit outside all night or sleep in a corridor.

Don’t have a drunken DMC with your lecturer

This is only acceptable if you’re graduating, definitely not doing a masters, and have no intention of ever needing this lecturer to give you a reference.

If that’s not the case, save the slurred monologues about your ex for a housemate. It’s either that or you’ll have to switch degrees: you can’t have someone who has heard the inner workings of your heart marking your essays. They know too much.

Don’t fail your exams

Because all the partying will be bitter-sweet if you know you’ve got to come back for re-sits in August.