Exam time weather: Sod’s Law.
The United Kingdom, which in normal circumstances can be depended on for consistently terrible weather- the kind of weather that actively makes you resent going outdoors- suddenly erupts into glorious spring.
You’ve colour-coded your notes, you’ve printed off a mass of lecture slides backdated to the first term and you’ve finally signed up to the British Library. In sum, you’re ready and set for some heavy revision.
And then what happens? The United Kingdom, which in normal circumstances can be depended on for consistently terrible weather– the kind of weather that actively makes you resent going outdoors- suddenly erupts into glorious spring. Birds and flowers appear. An ice-cream van lurks on Gordon Street, close to the Bloomsbury gym, waiting to tempt unsuspecting individuals who are trying to shape up for summer. Like a snail emerging from its shell, Britain sheepishly pokes its head around the door wearing dust-speckled sunglasses and last season’s shorts.
Meanwhile, the UCL library is crammed full of resentful students, sweating from mental exertion and the near tropical climate indoors. The law section has become a greenhouse. A mirage floats above the Flaxman Gallery as people wander around clutching empty plastic bottles in vain hope of finding a water fountain.
This is Sod’s Law- as soon as we’re confined to be indoors, where we’ve been huddled all winter, pressed up against the radiators, the weather stabs us in the back. The Sun has put his bloody hat on whilst we attempt to write our assessed essays. And the flipside of this is, come the end of June, it’ll be back to the UK’s weather forecast of choice: Monday: grey cloud. Tuesday: grey cloud. Wednesday: grey cloud with a bit of rain. And so it goes.
So while this heat wave continues, what’s our best stance? Our options are, as I see it:
1. Man up
Build a vest made of ice packs and power through. It’s not ideal, especially as you may be sitting in a puddle by the end of the day, but your mind will be in Antarctica for at least a couple of hours.
2. Give up
Hit Regent’s Park with sunscreen and a picnic basket. Hell, summer only comes once in the UK and exams shouldn’t stop you getting that elusive tan.
3. Become a night owl
Sleep in the sun all day, hit the library at night. This is what 24-hour opening is for.
4. Revise outside
Not for the faint hearted. Unless you’re studying zoology, juggling textbooks and ants nests isn’t ideal. Leave this as a last resort.
Whatever you go for, don’t forget: if you’re from the UK, you’ll need at least factor 50.