Relationship status: boring

Starting university in a relationship is great, you can confirm your lack of availability on the much repeated meet-and-greet, you don't have to make an excuse for not 'tapping that', and you can hot foot it out of London when your pocket gets a bit light and you're sick of making shit excuses for not being financially stable enough to smash cans every night. But I have a better reason, Tamara makes me feel special, and I feel like I would reject every possibly potential pull just to remain secure in that feeling.

But then Wednesday evening comes around and I’m fast running out of excuses as to why I’ve been locked up in my room for yet another few hours. If only I was doing what the other lads think I am doing.

I remember when it used to be fun to Skype Tamara. In fact it still is, but I can’t tell them that. I’ve only just been initiated into the Rugby second team and I’m not about to give that up. It was all sunshine and rainbows when we first started dating and we’ve gone against the odds by even staying together for so long. It’s funny how people think we must have been dating for ages before coming to uni, I mean how else would a relationship out-last Freshers?

There’s a knock at my door and I subconsciously turn the volume down on my computer, drowning out Tamara’s voice. ‘I’ll be right there’ I reply meanwhile thinking I’d rather not try Johnny’s newest homemade cocktail recipe. Beers and banter aside though, it’s not long before I’ll have to be divulging sex secrets to the others. There’s no way I can keep up with what Dan did to that girl last week or how many notches James has racked up post-Moonies/Roxy. It’s not like I would want to either. I’m happy, right? I’m settled, right? I can stay in and get some much needed R’n’R sometimes and visit my girlfriend on the weekends. I’m not missing out.

Monday evening rolls around and I’m getting impatient at Tamara taking too long to dry her hair so that she can talk to me on Skype. Never mind forgetting it’s our 6 month anniversary, I’ve forgotten to tell Johnny that the vodka is in the gin bottle and that I’ve got a secret stash of rum somewhere. Moonies, right? That’s what they call the place I think. Tamara right? That’s the name of my girlfriend I’m told. Blonde hair right? That’s the colour of her hair apparently. Blonde girl called Ta- on the dance floor come over here let me get you another Tin 'n' Gonic.