Liverpool students tell us their wildest pre-Covid clubbing stories

Some of you are absolute psychos

We all miss clubbing, and that is a sad fact. To inject some nostalgia into these depressing times, we decided to ask you guys your craziest pre-Covid clubbing stories- and some of you are absolutely wild.

Although clubbing may seem like a thing of the distant past, the embarrassment and shame that you experience in those moments cling to you forever, and if you can’t laugh about it, what else can you do?

Here is a complete list of some of the most insane clubbing stories sent to us by fellow students. Either enjoy or cringe if it’s about you.

‘There was a shit on the dance floor, didn’t notice until I’d actually stepped in it’

Not really sure why Liverpool has such a pooing in clubs problem, but this is a sure-fire way to kill your vibe. The sheer smell of your trainers was probably putting off potential pulls left right and centre. On another note, how did no one notice someone having a poo in the middle of the dance floor in the first place?

‘My mate shat himself in a club and didn’t leave until closing’

Another poo related one, starting to think Liverpool students should start taking Immodium before a night out. I thought the bloke who stepped in poo would smell but I can only imagine the stench coming off this one. Didn’t stop them from partying though, and I suppose this is the kind of persevering attitude we’ll need when clubs open again.

‘We shagged in club toilets’

Ahhh a welcome classic. So filthy and yet no one seems to care at the time. The many scared attempts to sneak into the toilet, the smirks on your faces as you leave, it’s all part of that good old university experience. It’s almost as much of a ritual as drunkenly calling your ex 50 times on the St. Luke’s steps.

‘Went home with a bouncer – he was 30 years older than me’

On one hand, I’d be thinking you can skip a few queues and maybe get some free tickets out of this, and age is just a number. On the other hand, that is just a bit too old, but how did you not notice? Did he just look really good for his age? Or were you just thinking about free entry?

‘My mate gave a guy passed out on the street the kiss of life and then started getting with him’

I mean, if you’re already there I suppose you might as well. Can’t miss a great opportunity like that, plus they did basically save his life, so they deserve a snog really.

Listen to me: We are manifesting clubs opening either later on this year or sometime next year. Words cannot express how many more of these stories will happen, and they will certainly be 100 per cent crazier.

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