Why Movember is more than some ugly moustaches

Welcome uni students one and all! This month you are all cordially invited to gaze your eyes upon an absolute magnitude of disgusting facial hair grown above the top lip of every bloke strutting down Smithdown. Yes, this is the month where you’ll be left holding back vomit when you bump into a teenager boasting the wispiest of strands beneath his nostrils, who has the sheer audacity to refer to his blatant monstrosity as a ‘moustache’.

Yes, I’m sure you are all fully aware this month is Movember, the month famous for transforming relatively attractive individuals into 70’s serial killers/paedophiles (take your pick). Yet, disregarding how gross it looks, how much I will never look like Tom Selleck, and even though no one will want to touch me for an entire month, this year I’ll be taking part, and here’s why:

When I started writing for The Tab I promised myself that I’d only write slightly arsey, sarcastic pieces as I thought they’d be the only interesting ones, it’s taken something really important to make me break my promise on this one occasion. So, here it is.

Movember, as I’m sure you know, is a charity that helps people diagnosed with testicular cancer and men struggling with mental illness. An odd mix of things, for sure! I imagine they introduced support of mental health into their charity when they compared some stats: One in 250 men will get testicular cancer, whereas one in eight will get a mental health problem…

Shit. That’s a high number. That’s one in every mariachi band, two in every rugby team, and one in your flat at uni.

Piers Morgan once stated before that men should “Man up” and just get over their mental health problems. I, on the other hand, have stated several times that Piers Morgan is an absolute cock (not exclusively, for this reason, I’m sure I could write a very entertaining list but that’s hardly relevant at the moment).

See, it’s people like this who’ll say something stupid which will cause people our age to end their lives. It pains me that somehow we managed to build a world where kids would rather top themselves than tell a mate they’re going through a rough time because they’re scared of being uncool.

That’s why, despite the fact I will openly look like an idiot for a month, I can support guys talking about emotions, and be a part of breaking the taboo of men being sad, by growing a shitty tasche, because maybe if we talk about it a little more (no matter how much of a pussy it makes me, according to Piers), we’ll help a whole load of people.

This year everything’s going to be super bloody hard at university. I’ve joked about how bad online lectures are, and how sad it is that socials are going to be non-existent, but really the hidden truth behind this all is that mental health at uni has been deteriorating rapidly cause of how COVID-19 has been affecting us. Eight students have died since the beginning of term, so let’s do our best to stop any more. Mental illness is a real thing, it isn’t a faraway distant fairytale, but instead, something that has affected me, my friends, and countless people you’ll know.

So, when you bump into my mates and I in ASDA with all of us sporting tasteful caterpillars, lip rugs, snot catchers, or whatever you call rank moustaches, refrain from being sick in your mouth and know that this isn’t some new fashion fad. Instead, this is simply recognising that we can talk about mental health and that we want to do our bit to help.

That’s why this needed an article, not because I thought it was funny or witty, but because hopefully, someone will read it and realise it’s important to talk to their mates to make sure they’re okay, and hopefully you’ll be one of them.

Up the tasche, and if you’re interested in supporting LURFC’s Movember page then click here to donate.

Partaking in Movember may be humorous, but ignoring the signs of your mental health deteriorating certainly isn’t. For local support in Liverpool click here, click here for the Samaritans helpline, and read this for guidance on self-care in lockdown.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• How to access mental health support at UoL

• How to access mental health support at LJMU

• Why playing sport at UoL is the best decision you’ll make