The best and worst bits of living in Kenny

Kensington – or Kenny as the well-versed Scouse will know –  has been in constant competition with Smithdown since the dawn of time. And sure, if you want to spend your student loan on a bus pass rather than those all-important QuadVods, then be my guest (I’m not biased).

Anyone living in Kenny will tell you nothing but gold, but what is it actually like living in this Corrie lookalike part of the city?

We’ll start this list off with the pros then move onto the cons:

Jack’s

If you haven’t heard of Jack’s before, then you are tragically missing out. It’s this magical place which is essentially a rebranded Tesco but with Aldi level prices. A student’s paradise that’s only a 10-minute walk away from the heart of Kenny. You’re kidding yourself if you think ASDA’s cheaper.

Close to campus and town

Simply roll out of bed and into your lecture whilst laughing at those stuck in traffic coming from Smithdown.  Wham, bam, there in 10.

No need to get the 699

We all know the worst thing about living off-campus is the 699. And as much as you Smithdown freaks pretend to love it, you’re absolutely kidding yourselves. So instead of being forced to squish up next to the sweaty gym-goers and overly-friendly day-drinkers, just wave at them from the pavement instead.

The scenery is quite pretty here

I appreciate that I’m really scraping the barrel here, but Kensington Fields is actually such a pretty place. Aside from the litter and constant noisy workmen, there are these random pockets of grass and park-type areas all over the place. And the Victorian terrace is a vibe, what can I say?

We have a Maccies

What we lack in pubs we make up for in Maccies, the ultimate student hangover cure.

Aaand now over to the cons sadly:

There’s literally no pubs

…and when I say “the pubs”, I mean the severe lack of a good local. Smithdown has its precious Brookie, but what do we have? Nada. Literally, the closest thing you’ll find is The Spinx or the Lime St Spoons, but when you’re on the hunt for a pint that 15-minute walk feels like absolute miles. Smithdown has got us there, and what a sad little truth…

Basically, every road is one-way

This is so specific but such a hang-up. Because who wants to drive half a mile in the wrong direction when you could otherwise just cross one street?

Each house has a creepy basement

90% of the houses in Kenny a have a basement, and if you’re one of the unlucky ones where it hasn’t been turned into yet another bedroom, you’ve basically either got a mad rave space or a spooky hell hole. Extra kudos if you’re the poor sap who has to live on the ground floor right next to the stairs.

Although tbf, if you’re going to turn the basement into an underground rave then maybe we should move this one to the ‘Pros’ list?

You will get constantly mocked for living on Kenny

Possibly the worst bit about living in Kenny is that when someone finds out that you live here, you’ll have stick for the rest of your life. Good luck soldier.

Now, if the lack of a local pub hasn’t put you off, then I think you know what you need to do: Ditch Smithdown and come and live in the superior student neighbourhood where ‘Battenberg Street’ reigns supreme.

Want to write for The Tab Liverpool? DM us on our Instagram today!

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Smithdown Vs Kenny: Who wins?

• The best and worst chefs of Smithdown: October edition

• 10 things you need to know before moving to Smithdown