An open letter to third years, from first years about the SJ

Get your tuna sarnies and hundred books away from me


So, you’re in third year and you’re like "This is it. My last year at uni. I am the elite. I am the powerful." Which is fair, because you’ve really toughened up to last this long. You can get all the praise you want from your other third year friends, but please listen up about the SJ and the annoying shit you guys do.

Using your laptop in front of computers

Firstly, there is a certain level of audacity in using your own laptop in front of a uni computer. If you have a laptop open, why don’t you scoot over a tad and let someone use a computer? It’s rude and unnecessary, and I fully appreciate that there is limited space, but I’m sure you could hold out a little and look elsewhere.

Munchies

If you need to snack, which you defo will at some point, try and choose a snack which isn't going to stink out the library or deafen someone. If you're insistent then maybe take it outside; I would rather not be nauseated by your salt and vinegar crisps.

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The side-eye is never enough to stop these snackers

Techno ravers

Whoever thought that they could get away with playing music, either loudly through headphones, or out loud in group study, has a god complex. We get it, you need motivation to churn out your diss, but I don’t need to hear techno from across the table. And I especially don’t want to see you bop a little alongside it.

Book hoarders and moaners

The number of books some people pile on their desk without using them is offensive. Or taking out every single one needed and then having to lug them back and then complaining about it! It’s a shame you can’t read them online or anything…

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Just returning half the library and then we can go

Cold reservations

Now, if you have the common sense to reserve a table or booth when working in the SJ, then props to you and your elite knowledge on how to book them online (seriously, can someone explain that to me?), but don’t be sassy when you want people to move. This may only be an attitude used on first years, but some people are really cold when explaining they booked that table “5 minutes ago”.

'Cheeky' whispers

General noise disruption and sighing. What a combination. Group study is defo an okay place to go and have a chat whilst working, but not silent study. It’s like going into a funeral and laughing at the mourners. It’s definitely a third-year complex, sighing every 2 seconds and leaning back to talk to your mates about “just how hard this module is”. You’re almost done, embrace it.

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You're never going to be subtle

Ditch and run

This one is my personal pet peeve – getting to the library early, leaving all your stuff, and then leaving immediately to get breakfast/go back to bed/ workout. PLEASE NO. The little ‘Have a Break Cards’ are there for a reason, and I’d be lying if I said I used them, but it has a 30-minute time cap before you should leave a desk entirely. It’s a bloodbath in there to get a table, so don’t make it worse by leaving your stuff for hours.

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LOOK 30 MINUTES! I REPEAT: 30 MINUTES!

TV addicts

Lastly, but by no means least, whoever watches TV for an extended amount of time on their laptop in the SJ has a special place in hell waiting for them. Especially, if you’re a third year and you’re forever on social media like “Been here for 5 hours, nothing like rise and grinding!”. If you’re caught watching a movie and posting lies you are the most-evil person in the SJ. Free the spaces and, for your own benefit, watch it in bed!

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Looks like hard work

Final words to take away

Okay, although these could be any years fault, third years need to be directly addressed for their behaviour. You guys are dedicated, or at least seem it from your stress levels, but do us all a favour and avoid driving everyone else up the walls.

Yours sincerely,

The much-loved first years xo