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The eight reasons why final years are the most annoying people on campus

From a disgruntled second year who just wants a seat in the SJ


Any uni student will know that "first years" is categorical answer to the question, "which year group is the most annoying on campus?" However, the tiddlywinks of campus are used as scapegoats for the real villains. We will cut the freshers some slack and reveal why the most infuriating people on campus are, in fact, final years.

1. They're self-confessed library hoggers

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You will struggle to meet a final year that doesn't go on about spending their entire lives in the SJ or Harold Cohen. This is annoying in itself, but the consequences of this are even worse. It means that finding a needle in a haystack would be an easier task than getting a seat in the library. The struggle is real if you're a languages student and are constantly listening to CD oral exams because no laptop post 1990 has a CD drive. This leaves you with the option of trekking to the dusty desktops in the grove wing only to find a final years sat at all of with their laptops open and desktops turned off???

2. They pretend their degree is more important than anybody else's

We can't argue with the facts: your final year is the most heavily weighted and a 10,000 word dissertation can be time consuming, but that doesn't make your degree more superior than mine. It doesn't matter what year you're in, we'll all go through the same emotional breakdown at some point in our uni experience and should be supportive of each other rather than acting high and mighty.

3. They constantly bail on plans because deadlines

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Your friend in final year becomes a ghost you hardly remember. You arranged to go to Leaf for a white hot choc and catch up in January. Now it's April and there is still no sign of that mate date in the foreseeable future. We get you're busy, but please just spare five mins of one day to scoff a guild burrito with me!!

4. On the odd occasion that they do come out, they leave at 1am to make sure they go to their 9am

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Forcing a smile for the BFF

If it's a night out you've attempted to organise, the chance of seeing them is slim and even if they do turn up they'll only disappoint. They come to pres, drink two cans of Dark Fruits and tell you they're only staying out until 1am because they have a meeting with their dissertation tutor at 9 that they just can't miss. Gone are the days of the pair of you stumbling out of Heebies at 4am.

5. Concert Square and BaaBar are beneath them now, it's cocktails and lunch at Neighbourhood ONLY

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Why pay £15 for a pizza at Gusto's when Pizza Hut buffet is only £6.99?

Stalking their instas is a totally new experience. The messy pictures of them in Invisible Wind smokers area are lost in a sea of Pornstar Martinis. Checking the locations tagged it looks like this former BaaBar fanatic hasn't been in the vicinity of Concert Square or Seel Street in months. It's bottomless brunch at Cosy Club, drinks at Oh Me Oh My or dinner at the Italian Club. If you were craving a chaotic night at CaVa with them then you've had it.

6. They constantly complain about the stress of searching for a grad job even though they won't get one

If they're not in tears over their dissertations then they will be after endlessly applying for graduate jobs without success. Interviews, online tests and assessment centres rule their lives and you're sick of consoling Maisie because Unilever didn't want her. This has happened so many times and with each rejection your sympathy weakens. It comes to June and Maisie is still unemployed, she tells you that she's moving back to Slough to live in her Mum's house and work in the local Asda. She's oblivious to how badly her grad job search has prematurely aged you; whilst Maisie goes home to toad in the hole with Mum, you just go home with a headache.

7. They complain that they're old

Mate, you're all literally 21.

8. They ruin all the memes

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Sunday night and you've got 6,000 words due on Monday? Can't relate. Interview for your dream grad job that you didn't get? Can't relate. Ignoring the diss to watch the Madeleine McCann documentary? CAN'T RELATE.

If you're guilty of any of the above please do better by your fellow students on campus, even though we'll all morph into one of you eventually.