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Which Christmas song is your University of Liverpool course?

‘Tis the season for negative course stereotypes

What better way to get into the Christmas spirit, other than cooking a very budget festive roast or wearing your ghastly reindeer jumper to a sweaty club, is there than seeing if your course is a Christmas number one or a Christmas classic wannabe?

Business – 'Step Into Christmas' by Elton John

They're here for a good time, not a long time. You would think these students would be all serious and business-like but actually, they are just at uni to "eat, drink and be merry". Their very generic degree choice guarantees them a career at the end anyway, so why stress about it? If you manage to get a first in the end then that's just a handy bonus, like all the bonuses you'll be getting in December at the mundane job you'll be doing in five years time.

Computer Science – 'Mistletoe' by Justin Bieber

Trying to be cool, but really just a little bit tragic. Unfortunately, unlike the newly-married Justin, you don't have anyone waiting for you under the mistletoe.

English – 'Do They Know It's Christmas?' by Band Aid

No, they don't have a clue what's going on in real life; they've got their heads stuck in a book most of the time. They're more concerned about George shooting Lennie than the fact it's Christmas time. They have good intentions though, just like this song.

Geography – 'Fairytale of New York' by The Pogues

A little bit of a rogue song, just like this course. No-one is entirely sure what they do, but what we do know that they're a little bit edgier than people on other courses – or at least they try to be with their hoop earrings and colourful puffer jackets.

History – 'Last Christmas' by Wham!

They're living in the past.

Law – 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday' by Wizzard

The concept of having Christmas everyday is a little bit repetitive and a little bit boring, just like Law. Let's be honest, it's really not the best idea to have Christmas everyday, nor is it a great idea to choose to do such a dull course – sorry guys.

Medicine – 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' by Mariah Carey

The most hyped Crimbo song – always at the top of the Christmas charts, just like medics who always have to be the best in everything. Annoyingly, they'll be the highest earners out of everyone, just like this song, which Mariah is still living off now. They don't want a lot for Christmas (or they claim, even though they've already written daddy a wish-list); they just want everyone to know that they are, and always will be 'the best'.

Sciences – Any Michael Bublé Christmas Song

You come out of hiding once a year to do your exams, just like Michael does at Christmas. Then it's back to the library you go for another year.

Languages – 'Feliz Navidad' by Jose Feliciano

We get it, you're multilingual. Go tell someone that understands.

Architecture – 'One More Sleep' by Leona Lewis

You're hoping to fit in 'one more sleep' before your deadline, but let's be real, you'll never have the chance as you live in the studio.

Sociology – 'Santa Tell Me' by Ariana Grande

They need to know the answers for their exams, please Santa. The basic bitch of Christmas songs for the basic bitch of courses. It will never be a classic Christmas song, just like Sociology will never be a legit degree. But it doesn't matter, because all they need in life is a Fiat 500, a Naked palette and a bottle of Echo Falls.