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All the annoying people you’ll encounter in the UoL libraries this semester

If you’ve never seen these people, you’re probably one of them


The library – a second home for some, a horrible nightmare for others. Whatever your opinion, we'll all end up there at some point. Although the majority of us are just trying to get through our first essays of the year, there are some people who don't seem to understand the unwritten rules of the library.

Freshers

The library isn't for picking up hot dates

Although coming to uni is exciting and you think you need to be in the library either to do really well, or to meet a uni boyfriend/girlfriend (have you heard of Tinder?), you really don't. First year doesn't even count, you just have to reach that 40%. So instead of dragging yourself to the library and upsetting a fragile final year when you've got to a computer before them, just go out with your flatmates and write your essay from the comfort of Crown Place the next day. You won't be able to do that next year so make the most of it now! Also, your dream of finding your uni sweetheart in the library is probably never going to come true so just stick to the traditional way of finding them in third year.

Sleepers

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Are you even comfy?

You may say you're "resting your eyes", but we all know that's not true. Uni can get on top of everyone, but when your eyes start to close on themselves, it's a sure fire sign that you have done plenty of work and it's time to go home for some shuteye. Not only are you taking up desk space, you're also going to get a massive crick in your neck. It's more important to get a proper decent sleep (and free up space for other students) in a comfy bed, rather than napping at a desk.

People who use a laptop in front of a computer

Please explain to the rest of the student population why you have decided to carry your relatively heavy laptop all the way from home into uni only to decide that the best place to sit in the library is in front of a fully functioning computer?! Advice: if there's no desk space in the library apart from in front of a computer, try a different study area where it's just desk space. It will save you getting daggers from stressy students, and it'll probably be warmer than the SJ, so extra bonus for you.

Book thieves

We understand you want those firsts, but you can get eBooks on your computer. If you'd rather have a hard copy, treat yourself and spend those printer credits printing PDFs. That way you can make all your notes over it, not hog all the books and you won't jeopardise your degree – three birds, one stone, hun.

People with bad food choices

Most of us will know how frustrating it is when you've settled in to doing a long library sesh and then all of a sudden the person next to you whacks a Tupperware full of tuna pasta on the desk next to you. Great, looks like that stench will be sticking to your clothes until you wash them. Or, sometimes someone decides to chomp away heartily on a bag of Walkers. Thanks for letting everyone know you can still afford meal deals this late in the semester.

People with phones on loud or vibrate

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Keep your notifications to yourself

Loud phones are every library's worst nightmare, but in a student library when deadlines are looming, this isn't going to be received well, and while vibrate isn't a terrible feature all in all, it's just that when the person's phone is lying on the desk and one of their group chats is on fire (probably talking about last night's Heebies). Never-ending buzzing sounds through the desk aren't the best way to keep your library neighbour happy. There are few things worse than being interrupted/distracted by a conversation you're not involved in. Do everyone a favour and put it in your bag, if it's on vibrate it means you're not that interested anyway?

People chatting on the phone

Last but certainly not least, people who are talking on the phone in the quiet zones are not loved by regular library hermits. It's kinda awkward to be talking with your mum on the phone in the middle of the Grove Wing, and not just because of how quiet it is. It's like you can feel everyone's eyes on the back of your head, and you're probably going to be filmed/tweeted about for how annoying you were during a busy SJ sesh. Do yourself a favour and take a nice stroll outside to take your call, the fresh air will benefit you anyway. Then you wont even have to use your cringe library voice on the phone to mum, hurrah.