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The Raz, Kenny and Carni: How to speak fluent ‘Liverpool’

You’ll be mentioning fat frogs and quad vods daily


You may have started to suss out the general Scouse slang, such as the fact that "divvy" is the only insult you'll ever need or that Gary doesn't just refer to your dad's best mate, but how about the vocabulary that only relates to the students in the city?

You're gonna feel right heavy when you don't understand what your roomies are chatting, so here's a trusty guide to help you become the most clued-up kid on campus.

The Raz

The Monday sesh full of Razbombs (aka piss cheap Jägerbombs), colourful caps and music cheesier than the chips you'll buy after. It's grimy, slimy, there was a dead rat on the floor, but you'll still end up here every week. As long as you don't dare call it Blue Angel, despite what it says on the outside.

Fat frog

The Raz's speciality, and nope this isn't another animal they've found lying in there. A mixture of three VKs creating a sickly green colour, part of the reason why we all throw up in there and make the toilets so unappealing.

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Head-wear on point

The Brookie

The Brookhouse, for it's full name, is a Liverpool student's answer to Spoons; don't miss out on "Onesie Thursdays" for discounted bevvies (you don't actually have to wear onesies though, it's not 2012). This is a haven for second and third years, contemplating whether to go to town or bed.

SJ

This term refers to the best UoL library, don't @ me. It's for arts and humanities students but trust me, you'll see biology and maths textbooks scattered around. The alternative is the daunting Harold Cohen, where you have to go when there's no SJ seats…again. Just don't call that one the HC. Just don't go to the library actually, you're a first year.

Kenny

Not that lad on your course that's in the rugby team, it's really a shortened version of "Kensington", which sounds like it should be lit but is actually shit. Never associate yourself with people that live there after first year instead of Smithdown.

Our thoughts entirely

699

We may have told you that Smithdown is better, but this bus takes away from living near cool eateries and handy supermarkets. First years chant on it, second and third years weep over their coursework on it. Whilst you're here, MyTickets are your saviour, which is £2.20 for a day's travel. Just remember that you're 17 if they question it…

Quadvod

Newcastle and their trebles? We went and beat them with quadvods. Slightly illegal offerings from Faculty and Slater's, as they're served as two doubles to be poured into one cup, but still gonna get you smashed enough for Concert Square.

Carni

Not a carnival, but it's nearly as fun as that in Carnatic, the off-campus accommodation to be in. It would certainly be Crown Place's rogue older brother that you can't help but admire, despite not being as clean-cut.

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This only makes sense if you go to the Wood Street wonder below

CaVa

You may remember this phrase from GCSE, but now you'll associate it with cheap, flavoured tequila over French listening tests. £1 a fricking shot! Don't forget that.

The K

RIP The Krazyhouse, the rock club that Liverpool veterans remember dominating their Freshers' Week. Now it's called Electrik and will host Medication. The more you know.

Red salt

Have this on your takeaway fries and there's your diet gone.

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Read the watermark!!

Level

This is here to remind freshers never to call it "Levels".

Vital

It's vital that you find out now that this site will crash approximately five minutes before your deadline. Always aim for half an hour earlier, so you won't be sobbing in the SJ.

Alpha/Delta

What was once simply letters of the Greek alphabet are now your gods when there's an Uber surge and you can't bear the busy 699. Their taxi service isn't pricey and they'll do their utmost to make your journey comfortable. Save their number in your phone now, as no drunk fresher will have the capacity to Google it.

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Allez allez allez

Reds/Blues

If you associate these colours with Manchester City and United then you'll have to keep real quiet whilst you're in this city.

AU night

A sesh where different sports teams come together in the most cringe fancy dress. Not as good now it's left the Guild, but if you wanna see your flatmate in a cheerleader outfit, here's your chance.

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Debating over Juicy leaving The Shipping Forecast

Juicy

Not just how your shoes feel after Mondays in our fave place. This is the Tuesday night that'll mean you sack off your usual night before for an evening of RnB tunes and Red Stripe. It's now part of the new Skint at Peacock and Moloko, which is exactly what we'll be after the £2.50 doubles.

LJMU

LJM-who?