This is every type of student you’ll meet in your lectures
Prepare first years for all the different kinds of people you’ll stumble across in lectures
The one that's hungover
There's always one who thinks its a great idea to go to the Raz, drink their own body weight in fat frogs, and then attempt to attend their two hour 9am lecture the next day. They spend the whole lecture trying not to throw up, still drunk from the night before or slumped on the desk, trying to relieve their pounding head as the lecturer drones on about the Peninsula Wars. Was there any point in attending really?
The students with Macbooks
Is there anything more annoying than hearing all those students with Macbooks aggressively typing away as soon as the lecturer says "Today we will be looking at…" whilst you're desperately trying to scribble down some notes on your new pukka pad you've bought from Ryman. Seriously no one wants to hear your acrylic nails tapping away every two minutes, chill out!!
The one that's always eating
There's always one who decides to tuck in to their Tesco meal deal as soon as the lecture begins. There you are desperately trying to concentrate, whilst someone's decided their going to open their packet of quavers, thus making it impossible to hear the lecturer talk, whilst simultaneously making the whole lecture room on a warm stuffy day smell like feet. Mmmmm yummy….
The one who has always got their hand up
You'll see them usually sat on the front row, furiously scribbling away, writing down everything word for word the lecturer has said. It's now 10 to 11 and the lectures about to finish and you can't wait to go home, and watch back to back episodes of "Can't Pay? We'll take it away". However the one at the front puts his hand up and starts to argue with a point the lecturer has made and in the end the lecture has over run by 10 minutes, you're missing your fav tv programme and you're getting annoyed. Seriously, why can't you email the lecturer instead or see them at the end?
The girl who simply looks flawless
Whilst you've barely made it out of bed, you've not brushed your hair and you've come to the lecture dressed in your secondary school leavers hoodie and a pair of leggings with a hole in them, there's always that one girl who would put Kim Kardashian to shame. With her hair curled, makeup done and wearing an outfit that looks like it costs more than this months rent, you wonder what time they had to get up this morning to get dolled up for their 10am lecture.
The one that's always late
Entering the lecture theatre ten minutes after the lecture has begun, nodding apologetically at the lecturer who looks annoyed at having been stopped mid sentence, this person is always late and always disturbs everyone else by asking everyone on the row to move up so that they can sit down. You wonder why they're always late, then see the starbucks cup in their hand and realise that their priorities lie in making sure they've got their expensive coffee fix rather than actually getting to the lecture on time.
Finally, the ones who never actually turn up
It's a massive shock to you when you've been attending a lecture for several weeks, thinking there is about 30 people in the entire module until it gets to revision weeks when 5934839 other people you've never actually seen before turn up to get all the hints and tips for the upcoming exam. It's an even bigger surprise when your module manages to fill up three separate exam halls when it comes to January because you could have sworn that that girl didn't do that module or that boy even took English Lit. Like, how do they even pass?
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