What would your Liverpool halls be if they were a Wetherspoons pitcher?

What they forgot to tell you on the open day, clearly


Regardless of your age, hometown or course, one thing Liverpool students can agree on is that we know how to sesh right. And when you've reached that point where pres are complete but it's not quite time for the club, going to Spoons for a few jugs is essential, especially when you're tired of CaVa's tequila shots and can't face another Faculty quadvod. So, it only seems fitting that each Liverpool hall has a pitcher to match their vibe.

Crown Place – Sex on the Beach

The basic pitcher that everyone chooses first when you're a naive and 18, just old enough to drink and fearful of leaving mummy and daddy's side for more than a second. This explains why Crown is at the top of people's first choice accommodation; so they can be safe in the knowledge you're not venturing far from the unknown. Shame it's a bit overrated, and represents the people living here who claim to do wild things such as having sex on the beach, despite having the most sheltered life before uni (and not even living near a beach).

Vine Court – Woo Woo

Just like Crown but without the added zest. Shame.

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Unfortunately you can't be every one of these

Melville Grove – Tuity Fruity

This pitcher is a luminous green colour, just like the sick on the floor in every Melville flat after a night-out, probably in The Raz. After all, it's the same shade as a fat frog, the only thing that fuels students in this accommodation.

Philharmonic Court – Very Cherry

Very Cherry is more like very vanilla, as nothing thrilling ever happens in these halls.

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Don't be too boring for the dance-floor as well

Tudor Close – Blue Lagoon

Tudor Close is home to mostly international students who've travelled the world more than your student finance would allow. Upon being initiated into Spoons by their British counterparts, they choose a pitcher based on the fact it has the same name as where they visited in Iceland. Or was that Malta?

Dover Court – Purple Rain

Time passes so slowly in Dover Court, you'll think you've been here since the song Purple Rain was released.

Private halls – Ginberry Fizz

Definitely posh, and definitely chooses a glass over a pitcher of Ginberry Fizz to act like they're in a much fancier bar than a shabby old Spoons. You're not. You're in The Lime Kiln. You're ruining the two for £12 deal for us.

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As blurry as a night with Carnatic residents

Carnatic – The Godfather

The very thought of this cocktail before you tried it made you wince, like when your parents dropped you off in your unappealing prison of a room in first year. However, you soon realised you can put up with it for a fucking good time. It's still often as unappetising as the meals you're provided, but you certainly won't be regretting it.

Greenbank – Long Island Iced Tea

Even more of an upgrade from Carnatic/The Godfather – it's the newer, more pristine 'fun' halls, and has even more spirits inside of it, whether that means literal hard drinks or the 'gap-yah' free-spirited students (you learn to get used to them). Residents of both of these off-campus halls, and their respective pitchers, inevitably get you shitfaced though, and that's all that really matters.

Grand Central – Smirnoff and Monster

You're gonna need that energy drink to help yourself survive through that 7-day bender you've got planned.

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Pitcher perfect

Living at home – Porn Star Martini

With their perfect nails and hair that's been in rollers all day, you'd think that they'd be more suited to buying this drink in Slug and Lettuce. But behold, after sipping (chugging) this pitcher, they'll be putting their mates in accommodation to shame when they hit the Heebies dance-floor.

Dale Hall – Rum Punch

Easily looked over like the long-forgotten Dale Hall. Also there was only one pitcher left, it needed to be fitted in somewhere.

The Tab Liverpool

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