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People who stop clubbing because they’re in relationships are the absolute worst

Clubbing isn’t boring. You’re boring.

“I’ve got a bae. I can’t be arsed to go out.” The immortal words of that flatmate who thinks that we’re clubbing because we want a lay. “It’s just boring now, you know? I don’t need to pull so I don’t want to pay for entry to a sweaty club.”

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Not all heroes wear capes

Clubbing isn’t just for getting laid at the end of the night

The unfortunate truth of “the relationship flake” is that they truly believe that we go to the club for one reason only, and that’s sex. It is negative and frankly misogynistic attitude that fuels the fires of slut shaming and just gets my goat. Just because you used to go to clubs to pull, doesn’t mean that we have the same agenda. Don’t try and push your twisted views of a night out onto the people around you. You’re the problem, not the solution.

You’re the only one I’m taking home tonight babe

What’s next? Am I only wearing makeup to impress boys?

I, for one, enjoy dressing up. The high energy buzz of pre drinks and the one too many on the bus are what the foundations of uni culture are built on. The long nights in the city’s basements, necking shots and sipping beer through a straw aren’t intended to entice the opposite sex. We do it to relax, to be social and to dance away the stress of finals.

pre-drinks are one of the best parts of a night out

But if you have sex on tap, you just cba to leave

The fact that a bang is always a call away is not exclusive to relationships. Have you ever even heard of a booty-call? The fact of the matter is that you are weak. Don’t pass your unwillingness to socialise onto your relationship status. And under no circumstances should you be suggesting that the rest of us have some sex obsession that drives us to Concert Square each weekend. Keep your Freudian philosophies to yourself. We’re here for a good time, not a long time.