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All the things Liverpool students do without realising it’s weird

Mondays are for fat frogs

Most of the things Liverpool get up to aren't too dissimilar to our mates at other universities; blowing our student loans within two weeks, going from grotty halls to even grottier houses and valuing tequila shots over our morning lectures. However have you ever thought of the things nobody outside Liverpool will really relate to? Well it's time to remember them now.

Not visiting any of the typical tourist sites

The Beatles attractions? You only saw Penny Lane because you were opposite it in The Tavern. Liverpool FC? There's no way you'll ever set foot in Anfield. The Albert Dock? Might have walked round once when your parents visited. Liverpool is a city with so much to offer, yet the only thing that really attracts us is The Brookhouse. Oops.

Just a bit prettier than Kensington

Having a vast array of clubs but always choosing Baa Bar

It's Tuesday night, you've finally convinced your housemates to go Lost. It's 2am, you've been boogieing a good couple of hours, and you give them 'the look'. No it's not the "I wanna go bed now please" glance, it's the Baa Bar look. We may insist we hate the place, knowing a trip to La'go or Soho will be much more pleasurable, but we still end up in the kettiest sweat-pit at these early hours. Will we ever learn?

And not letting chips past your mouth without red salt

We're not quite sure what red salt is, and why there's a consensus that all takeaways near Concert Square should offer it, but we can't resist sacking off our diet for this simple pleasure.

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Been waiting for this day since January

Celebrating St Paddy's Day like you're Irish

Ask your pals at more boring universities about the 17th March, and they'll just think it's an average day that falls around Easter. Ask a Liverpool student, however, and they'll recall how their great-great uncle was definitely from Cork and watch them paint the town green. A Guinness or two also doesn't go amiss, even though it's obvious they're absolutely loathing it.

Treat Thursday night like the new weekend

When you were in sixth form, Saturday night was the night. However, the weekend is now for dressing gowns and trash TV, nursing your hangover from Quids In or Shit Indie, obviously finished with Baa Bar. You wouldn't wanna party with the locals anyway, as heels on the cobbles would be a recipe for disaster.

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Friday 9ams are a myth

Deeming quadvods a totally respectable night-out drink

Newcastle students think they have it all with their trebles, but we only went and one-upped them with quadvods, typically mixed with a blue VK to ensure we get all the bang for our buck. I mean, after they surpassed £5 – the biggest crime in a Liverpool student's eyes – we have to ensure this one drink gets us pissed enough to deal with the usual sesh drama that unfolds beyond Faculty and Slater's.

Having much more of an affinity for one library over the other

They share the same basic features; plenty of seating area whether you wanna do group work or ride solo, and a prime position near a Tesco Express and 699 bus stop, yet many of us can't bear the thought of entering the Harold Cohen over the Sydney Jones. It does get annoying as an English student though, having to listen to medicine students whilst you're trying to understand Chaucer.

Treat a little patch of grass on-campus like it's a luxurious park

A hint of blue sky in the usually dull Liverpool, and every student leaves the beloved SJ to lie on the grass in Abercromby Square to munch on their meal deals. It's like we forget we have the huge Sefton Park on our doorsteps in Smithdown.

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The map don't lie

Call the area 'Smithdown' when it's not really called that

Yes, the big road going through is called Smithdown Road, but it's technically Wavertree and the locals must hate us for it.

Buy an Arriva bus pass even though you have six contact hours

Hopefully you got compensation after the strikes to make up for this tragic mistake.

The ultimate Courtyard combo

Value Guild burritos over any actual Mexican eatery

Guys, this is the reason El Mexicana and Pancho's Burritos on Bold Street closed down. Even though the BBQ pulled pork mixed with guac and sour cream should be so wrong, it just feels so right. Maybe our affections will go elsewhere now Taco Bell has opened.

Have so little faith in our uni despite choosing to go here

I mean, most redbrick unis would never believe on April Fool's that their university was losing their Russell Group status, yet here we are.

We love you really x