An ode to the Liverpool clubs we visited in freshers but never set foot in again

One of the perks of fresherhood is being on the brink of discovering the vast world of Liverpool clubs and bars. You didn't know that you spend more time in the Quids In queue than actually in Heebies, or that choosing between Juicy and Lost on Tuesday is one of uni's toughest decisions. However, the downfall is that we purchased unnecessary wristbands, and were drawn in by promoters shouting about 2 for £5 cocktails. Oh well, we all learn from our mistakes.

Let's reserve Level for Halloween only

Modo/Soho

Located in the heart of Concert Square, these clubs can be remembered as the place to pick up wristbands or to escape an awful icebreaker event. Nowadays they're more prided for the tables outside, offering us somewhere to stay warm and smoke shisha before a better night-out. At least they were free entry though, right?

Level

With three floors and a vibrant sign, Level (or 'Levels' as naive freshers may say) seems like the ultimate party location. Liverpool's self-proclaimed biggest club seemed all the rage when we were innocent freshers, but we quickly realised this steaming sweatbox wasn't the club for us – going out on a Wednesday is a thing of the past. The very name 'Level' sends shivers down our spine now. Overpriced entry and drinks, abysmal music and a hub of classic club fuckboys. At least they have some worthwhile guests, from Tom Zanetti to The Cheeky Girls.

I realised my love for you was strong

Walkabout

Another hub of celebrity appearances, with the likes of The Chuckle Brothers and Basshunter visiting, but stepping foot in there since freshers either meant you were lost looking for Spoons or just plain stupid. It's closed down now – yeah, you didn't know did you? Shows just how long it's been since you even considered a night-out here.

Fusion

Having felt like an outsider compared to your Carni roomies as you'd only been clubbing once unlike their gap yahs and festival trips, you had to prove yourself by staying out 'til 6am in Fusion. Now you're comfortable with them, it's been established that your trip to McDonalds shouldn't happen any later than 3am – we're all too old to stick around for breakfast.

The Krazyhouse

The K has all the makings of a top club: three floors again, 2 for 1 drinks and the infamous Harambe/rhino. Our memories of Liverpool's best rock venue remain in September of first year nonetheless – we're all much 'edgier' now, trading singing along to pop punk for bopping along to house beats in Lost, probs because we're too scared to admit how big our emo phase of 2012 really was.

Bring back candyfloss in nightclubs

Popworld

From Guildford to Nuneaton, students may be acquainted with the cheesiest club chain from their hometowns. Nevertheless, unless you're fond of partying with hen dos or drunk enough to wanna swing round their poles, it's better just to get our pop music fix at McCooleys or The Raz.

Moloko/The Peacock

Apparently there was a Block Party here in freshers 2017, and apparently people attended? You learn something new every day.

That queue will never be replicated, fact

Garlands

We may be more familiar with the new Underground Liverpool which hosts events like Cirque, but we can never forget the pure tragicness provided by the icebreaker wristband in what was formerly Garlands. That's £30 of our money we're never gonna get back.

The Guild

No we're not talking the £1.60 pints in The Sphinx on Friday or the burritos in The Courtyard; we're chatting Mountford Hall hosting Cascada and Craig Charles. Let's be honest though, if these events happened any time other than freshers, we'd just choose a night in town instead. I mean the Guild doesn't even hold AU night anymore. Bongo's Bingo and some pretty class gigs really is it's only saviour.

Looking forward to the stars of freshers 2018