Every clubbing phase the girls of UoL will go through during three years of uni

Even though the biggest party you're encountering at the moment is when Eduroam actually decides to work in the library so you can revise (big up exam season), at least you can have a moment of fun remembering every cliche you fitted when it comes to clubbing.

The newbie

You've just turned 18, you've begged your mates to get fake IDs for your birthday bonanza and now you're hitting up your hometown club in hope of chatting up some cute boys from your sixth form. You haven't yet worked out that heels on a night out are a bad call, and that nobody under the age of 25 wears Lipsy dresses anymore, but the Instagram pic your mum took in the living room still looks hella cute.

The freshers freak

You've moved from Lincolnshire to Liverpool, and you're just so amazed there's this many clubs in one place. You've participated in a game of 'never have I ever' with your whole block and now you're ready for a week-long bender. Your liver and bank account are feeling sore, but you've gotta remind everyone and their dog that you're now a real wild child (that never attended any of their introductory lectures).

Living for fancy dress every week

The 'just broke-up' phase

Sam from back home just wasn't cutting it anymore, you've changed your status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' and you hope you're gonna hook up with a hottie in Heebies. Except you're actually just gonna be crying in Harper's, remembering how you're never gonna see his cat again…miss you already Pebbles.

The hoe phase

If you haven't kissed 5+ guys on your night out then was it even worth going out? You barely saw your mates in the club because you were too busy flirting with the guy that used to be in your seminar. You know you're free to do what you want now, you're used to Liverpool so you can get from Carnatic to Crown after your one-night stand.

Doesn't he realise you wanted his mate instead?

The 'ketty' phase

If there's no ket, there's no interest. Your cute playsuits from New Look are at the back of your wardrobe now, instead you've got some John Lennon glasses and Urban Outfitters' most wavy jacket. You'd wouldn't be caught dead in Level now, especially as you're too busy swanning off to Manchester for another Warehouse Project.

The 'get me home early' phase

You still wanna go on the sesh, but you're more conscious of important factors now. Will I reach the bus stop in time for the Arriva to Smithdown? Will I get enough sleep for my SJ slog? You'll be starting pres earlier and earlier, as nights out beyond 3am are becoming a distant memory.

"No I am not going to Fusion after this"

The never goes out phase

Your cute going out clothes are truly forgotten about now, the only item that gets your time of day is your dressing gown. The Ink you'll be seeing on Friday is your pen scribbling down notes for your dissertation, and takeaways are now delivered to you for a cosy evening of Grand Designs, not after a heavy night in town.

Wake me up when the deadlines end