Your trustworthy guide to understanding the Scouse language

Upon venturing into Liverpool, we’re all guilty of just smiling and nodding at someone because we can’t understand their accents in comparison to our own. For fellow southerners this is more frequent thanks to our vanilla tones and lack of exotic vocabulary for everyday things like trousers- hence why we accept the teasing and understand we’re just not as exciting as Scousers.

Finally, the answer to our problems has arrived. No longer will you have to keep asking a Scouser to repeat what they said to the extent they reckon you’re simple- simply screenshot this life-saving A-Z list below and thank me later when (if) Scouser's accept you.

Arlass – Out of Order

To be ashow – to be a mess (omg she is ashow – she looks a mess)

To be in bulk – to laugh a lot

Bail – go away/stop chatting shit

Bifter (biff) /ciggy – cigarette

Blag – to lie

Boss – good

To give a chew – to give someone oral sex

Chocka – busy

To have a cob on – be angry at someone (don’t have a cob on with me – don’t be angry with me)

Devoed – upset

Divvy – idiot

Frabs/Baltic – freezing

Gary – pill, ecstasy

Geg – to join in with something you’re not invited to (stop gegging in- stop getting involved)

Gobshite – an annoying person

To shag/to goose – to have sex with someone

Heavy – when something goes wrong, or a good tune

Jarg/plazzy/Knock off – fake

To jib someone – to dump someone (jib him off – dump him)

Kecks – pants, trousers

Lemo/snow/Charlie – cocaine

To be made up – to be happy about something (I am made up about my new dress – I am really happy with my new dress)

Meff – someone not of a good standard

Nice one – thankyou

To neck someone – to kiss someone

To be not on – to not be okay (that’s not on that – that’s not okay)

To be on one – to act recklessly (last night that bird was proper on one – last night that girl was mad)

On your bill – on your own (I was proper on me bill – I was all alone)

The Ozzy – hospital

Plod/bizzies/bacon – police

Scally – a youth usually dressed in north face

Scran – food

To sweat cobs – to be really hot (arrr I’m sweatin cobs)

Swerve – to avoid (swerve him – avoid him)

To go West – to go crazy (me heads gone west – that’s mad)

And finally one we can learn for definite yet not know what it precisely means:

Wool – anyone who isn’t a scouser