Why Melville Grove is the most underrated accommodation
Vine court is old news
If you live in Melville, you know the struggle of describing its location to people who have no idea what you’re talking about. “It’s, uhh, behind the library?” “Right near Vine Court!” until the questioner is forced to just smile and agreeingly say “ahh yeah” even though you know pretty damn well they still have no idea where this place is. Melville Grove is arguably the best accommodation in Liverpool going, Vine court is old news by now.
Perfect proximity to everything in town and campus
Clubs and lectures are no more than a 25 minute walk away. Plus, unlike the unlucky souls that got shoved into Carnatic or Greenbank, you don’t need to fish out £2.20 a day, for the buses that go on strike every Monday, to get yourself where you need to be. Being able to wake up half an hour before lectures and still get there before the lecturer is the main reason as to why Melville is by far the best choice of accommodation. The smug feeling when a packed 699 goes past is a pretty good one.
The huge kitchens/living space
In Melville it really is true; the pres are the best part of the night out. These massive kitchens and living space easily fit plenty of other houses inside, making this the most social and live place to be just before the night out. Good luck persuading your dead Vine Court flatmates into pres in those kitchens, or somehow cramming the 20 people from your grim Carnatic flat into that rotting kitchen.
Cheapest on campus option
Why on Earth would you pay an extra £10 a week to eat shitty meals and basically live in another county in Carnatic when you can save and live in Melville? Plus you’re actually extending your life span avoiding the asbestos in Carnatic. No-brainer really.
Clean kitchen and toilets, if the cleaners don’t hate you
Your money goes straight to food, alcohol, and useless stuff for your studies, but never towards toilet paper. Only at Melville could a house have a reputation of always being the house for pres, yet somehow doesn’t look like a swamp when you go in. We may hide from them to avoid the awkwardness, but they are the MVPs of this place; somehow 2 bathrooms being shared between 7 is cleaner than most en suites.
Peak times for you if you end up anywhere other than Melville and live to be a babied by RA's – there are endless stories of other accommodations where pres are shut down before midnight. If Mummy and Daddy wishes to send their darling cherub from Gloucestershire to Philharmonic and spend a fortune in order for him to have the best start to uni life, then I hope this preppy lad enjoys having his pres shut down at 11:30 and be handed a hefty fine for having a social life. They may have to do their job once the clock strikes 12, but it’s not as aggressive in Melville whatsoever. One of Melville’s RAs even bought his new housemates a bottle of vodka to bribe them into friendship. Of course this was successful.
Mysterious empty cupboard space in the kitchen
The hidden gem of Melville that makes no sense at all. Hide letters for next years’ occupants, scare your housemates and then wonder why they don’t like you anymore, leave pots and pans in there because no room owns it, put a road cone in there – this space is your oyster.
Too tired to go up to your room to sleep? Passed out after a night out? Got friends or family over who need somewhere to stay? These sofas do just the job. Absolutely no way you can complete any work on these bad boys as you’ll be fast asleep in seconds. Lethal. These share no comparison with the structured, uncomfortable looking sofas Vine Court residents have to put up with.
Fellow toasted bagel lovers, this is the place to be. This magical machine knows the precise heat and duration needed to perfect your toast. There’s absolutely no way you can continue with your Atkins plan with these toasters. Need a quick crumpet before your 9am lecture? Sorted.
Melville may be a mystery to plenty of students here, but every single resident knows that living here is the best choice they made. Call us cheap, lazy, or unknown- but we all know that Melville overrules the other accommodation choices. We may not have a cheesy nick name like cringey "Carney" or "Philly", but at least we have Savvas Tom.