When you think about it, Bonfire Night is actually a bit messed up

Remember remember the fifth of November. The day when you'll probably end up at the docks or in a field somewhere, absolutely freezing cold, waiting for the fireworks to begin. Yes, it's quite fun, and it's a tradition we've all shared since childhood when that fateful first sparkler was handed over to us and we had to try not to set anyone alight. But when you actually think about it, Bonfire Night is kind of weird.

We're essentially celebrating an execution. Think back to primary school history. Guy Fawkes was a literal terrorist and this day ended with him and his mates being hung, drawn and quartered. That's pretty brutal.

It's also supposed to be patriotic, but the British don't really do patriotism. It celebrates the government and the monarchy and the fact that the gunpowder plot was foiled. And you don't even want to delve into the whole religious aspect of it. That get's pretty messy…

But it's fine, just look at the pretty fireworks and forget all about that. Just maybe don't look at the bonfire. If you do, you'll probably realise how sadistic it is that we ritualistically make a fake person for the sole purpose of setting it alight. Not even just a fake person – a fake version of an actual person who actually lived! Sure, he was a criminal, but still, it's a bit odd isn't it? Imagine going to a bonfire having no prior knowledge of this celebration (if you can call it that) and seeing all of this – you'd be horrified!

Ultimately though, it's all just a bit of fun. So I guess, on the fifth why not head down to the docks and partake in this grand, odd, and slightly horrifying tradition.

Although, if it's a public holiday, why don't we get a day off uni..?