A guide to all of the classic things that piss UoL students off

Where do we even begin with the 699?

Going to uni in Liverpool is great and we generally all live pretty decent student lives. We go to a good uni without the pressure and expectations of Oxbridge; we live in what is arguably the best student city in the country and we somehow have the best of both a campus uni and one close to the city itself.

Despite this, there are still a few things that really really just piss us UoL students off.



When people tell you it's the worst Russell Group uni

Your friends who go to the likes of Manchester and Leeds make fun of the fact that Liverpool is clinging onto its place in the Russell Group. Even people who go to a non Russell Group uni think they somehow have to throw their opinion in. Look James, we all know you're too boring to go anywhere in the North so you chose UEA, but you're talking to the original red brick here.

Don't even get me started on the attacks from London uni goers. Yes, UCL might be higher in the rankings, but it also means spending three years of your life living in a city where everyone is insufferably miserable. On top of this, you can't even afford a pint to drown your sorrows. You can get a pint for £2 in Liverpool and you don't have to deal with the tube. Tell me I'm wrong?

Don't get views like this in Durham either

Don't get views like this in Durham either

The Sydney Jones library

Every UoL student's relationship with the SJ is complex. You can't fault it for the vending machines and the Starbucks inside and its twitter account can be pretty funny too.

However, you can fault it for how full it gets. It's not even just exam periods, if you go at prime time in the day at any point of the semester finding a seat will always be a stressful ordeal. There's always an annoying amount of first years milling around, not actually working just being there. It's been said before but I'll say it again, FIRST YEAR DOES NOT COUNT. You literally just need 40%. You don't need the library, I've got a dissertation to write here.

On top of this, it's a simple fact of any UoL student's life, the SJ will never be the right temperature. Its either boiling or freezing. You always leave the SJ either shivering or sweating and there is no way of predicting which it'll be. The one day you choose to leave your extra layer at home will inevitably be the day the library seems to have lost all heating facilities, leaving you clinging to your coffee in a vain attempt to maintain some level of normal body temperature.

When people ask you if you've been robbed yet

No I haven't, stop conforming to the shite stereotypes of the 1980s. Despite the fact its over 20 years since Liverpool's reputation for being a hugely crime-ridden city could even be suggested to be accurate, this joke is still made.

Kenny and Smithdown clearly aren't the safest, but they're not particularly worse than many other student areas in the country. You encounter the exact same problems in Selly Oak in Birmingham, or Fallowfield in Manchester, its part of living in a big city. That being said, the mates who say this are generally the ones who were too scared to leave their hometown and ended up staying in Canterbury for uni.

The 699

The 699 epitomises the joke about busses in the UK – you wait for ages for one and then three come at once. Never has one 699 been further than 50 metres from another. The 699's need at least one companion following closely behind. You will clearly always just miss the previous bus by seconds when you get to the stop. Oh, and that 9am? Good luck getting there on time if you live on the top end of Smithdown, the bus will be too full and will literally just drive past. You're better off just walking and saving the fortune you spent on a bus pass.

Paying for printing in the library

One thing that really pisses UoL students off is the fact we have to pay for printing and it isn't even cheap. UoL students see constant £5 top ups coming out of their bank accounts. Surely for £9000 a year the uni could cover the cost of a bit of ink and paper for our assignments *cough* this is what happens at John Moores *cough*.



The Uni Gym

Firstly, it is always so busy. You go for a quick gym session between lectures and end up spending half the time queueing for the squat rack. The gym is one of the few places regularly more busy than the library, but just like the library people seem to spend more time on their phones than actually using the equipment. Secondly, how is it so expensive? £210 for the annual membership, are you sure? Oh and just to add fuel to the fire, this is another thing John Moores get for free.

Might just use Abercromby square, the gyms too expensive

Might just use Abercromby square, the gyms too expensive

Every man and his dog asking about all the Beatles sights you've clearly visited

Believe it or not, not every Liverpool student is obsessed with the Beatles. Whilst some of us clearly are big fans of the Fab Four, a large percentage aren't and actually haven't necessarily visited every Beatles attraction in the city. Sure many of us have been to the Beatles Story down by the docks, probably when our parents first came up to visit, but some of the more obscure sights? We just haven't been mate. Sorry.

Most of us have no idea where this even is

Most of us have no idea where this even is

University of Liverpool

The Tab Liverpool

last seen today at 11:07

Get Liverpool news straight to your WhatsApp

Rodent sightings at The Raz, Clubbers of the Week and where you should really be living in Smithdown. Straight into your DMs. 😘