Do you even need to leave Smithdown? All the reasons why clubbing is the worst part of a night out

Why would you want to go to LEVEL when you could predrink for the rest of the night?

Yeah, it sounds silly but when you actually think about it, it’s true – the worst part about a night out is the actual night out. The before and after definitely more exciting and enjoyable than standing in a sweaty club listening to the DJ mix Lana Del Rey with J Hus. It’s definitely the pre- and post- club sessions  that are ten times more memorable than the night out itself.

Everyone getting ready together

Before you can even think about hitting Concert Square, you need to decide on how you’re going to look and what you’ll be wearing. Is there anything more chick flick than helping your gal and guy pals decide what top goes with the classic jeans and sharing outfit ideas? What’s more exciting than having Lydia who runs her own youtube channel doing a cut crease on your eyelids? On a big night out there’s always a lot of excitement surrounding the getting ready part of the night.

Classic Pres

Whether it’s situated at a house or the bar it’s important to get suitably tipsy before you leave for town. Pres are definitely the best part of the night – the drinking games, music and the atmosphere are most definitely unbeatable when it comes to what made the night amazing. It’s the only time when it’s acceptable to down a Henry Weston’s in one or play spin the bottle even though you’re 21 years old.  It’s also when everyone is their happiest before going out – there’s no crying, or fighting, just pure happiness. It wouldn’t be a night out without pres.

The taxi ride there

Ah, the wisdom a scouse taxi driver can give you in that 10 minute drive to concert square is probably unforgettable but by this point you’re most likely too drunk to remember it in the morning. Remember to tell him you’ve got Scouse blood even as he tells you your less scouse than Oasis. Either way he’ll always seem like your best friend  (he defo isn’t though).

The actual night out 

So you’re buzzing to get into the club by this point but you were having so much fun at pres the queues have got huge and the entrance fee has gone up. By the time you get in  you’re beginning to realise how expensive the alcohol is inside compared to that crate of red stripe you got from Bargain Booze. It’s usually unbearably cramped and people keep spilling their drinks on you. The music’s alright but nothing compared to that insane playlist you complied 3 hours ago for the big night out pres. So all in all, nine times out of ten this part of the night is somewhat of a write off when you remember how mad the build up was. You just can’t wait to get out the club.

The takeaway 

Having spent most of your money in the club,  you’re still always be safe in the knowledge you have just enough for some cheesy garlic pizza bread from your favourite takeaway on the way back. Pizza Lane never fails you. The guys behind the counter have always got your back when things were more disappointing than you thought they’d be. That first bite into the artery-clogging mess of a Hawaiian will take away all the pain and disappointment of the club.

The stumble home (or taxi ride no. 2 if you live outside of town)

Either you’ll all be walking home (or stumbling) ready to eat your takeaway in the comfort of the kitchen with your pals. That or you’ll be meeting another taxi driver who will no doubt be just as friendly as the last ready to continue the night a little further. Walk homes are for making friends with the pals you argued with in the club and being drunkly confused why you can’t feel the -4 degree wind chill. You’re on your way to bed – is there a better feeling when you’re drunk?

The afterparty

And if you’re brave enough there’s always an after party – whether it’s everyone getting into their pyjamas to watch a film with blankets and food or another post-club sesh with music and yet more alcohol, it’ll be the perfect end to the night which started nearly ten hours before. And as your sat there in bed at the end of it all, you’ll be thinking ‘why did we even go out in the first place?’.

 

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