Everywhere else in Liverpool that needs a blue plaque
Give Yosef a knighthood while you’re at it
This week The Guild installed a plaque in The Sphinx to commemorate Sir Ian McKellen chowing down on a jacket potato after a talk he did for the Veterinary LGBT+ soc. It’s adorable. But, Liverpool is a place of iconic people and iconic landmarks. If we can pay permanent homage to Gandalf’s latte then it’s only fair some other spots in city get the recognition they deserve.
The crying step of the Raz
Boy, has this step heard some stories. The beacon of solace on Seel Street. Those concrete steps have never been more welcoming than when you had a drunken call with Jack from home which started with a fat frog in your hand and ended badly. The Raz was roasting, so the North Wind outside beckons. We’ve been there, we all pretend we haven’t, but the sheer amounts of tears and shouts of “YOU’RE BETTER THAN HIM” that this step has seen and heard deserve to be recognised.
The printer in the SJ that let me submit my essay on time
You run through the library at 1:35pm desperately hoping nothing goes wrong and slam your student card down on that little contactless bit and pray hard that your essay shows up in the queue. As if by magic – it does. You get it printed and posted through that box just in time.
Does this one even need explaining? It’s lush. A bright green space, perfect for monging a hangover away and dog-watching even if it often stinks of weed. Under-appreciated and underused as a perfect on-campus chill spot, Abercromby Square is there if you need a lil sit down after a stressful deadline and it’s there if you need to show your mates how cute our campus is.
Krunchy Fried Chicken
A MECCA. A MECCA WHERE WE PILGRIMAGE AT 3am EVERY CONCERT SQUARE NIGHT OUT. Not only does it deserve a blue plaque that says “Here lies the best chicken strips in the country” but while we’re at it give Yosef a knighthood. The man works hard.
The tequila wall in Cava
This surely goes without saying? It’s an actual wall filled end to end with tequila? Rumour has it there are over 30 flavours in varying states of deliciousness but all at the charitable cost of only £1. They’re practically paying us to drink this tequila. Where else would you happily be accidentally dry humped into a bar while licking salt off yourself? Absolutely nowhere.
And where would it be placed? Right next to the cash point at the bus stop obviously. Carnatic speaks for everything fresher. It’s ugly and enchanting, lovable and hateable, awful but unforgettable. It’s the perfect setting for a high school drama to take place, but with ket instead of impromptu Basketball songs. We’re gonna put it out there and argue it’s the best halls across the country.
The Sainsbury’s cash point at the top of Bold Street
Absolutely fantastic – it’s where you get off the bus, or out of the taxi, or is a signaller that you’re halfway through your trek to town, AND IT’S FREE MONEY. Not free money free money but free withdrawals, unlike all the cash points around Wood Street. You join the queue and by the time you get to the front there’s no tens left so you end up spending double the money you wanted to anyway but WHO CARES! YOU DIDN’T GET CHARGED £1.95 FOR WITHDRAWALS!
The taxi pick up spot at The Bombed Out Church
You’re crying. You’ve lost all your friends. Your FWB isn’t replying to your desperate texts. There’s one place for it. Well, firstly you go to Krunchy Fried but after that there’s one place for it. Cross on over to everyone’s favourite city centre church and find yourself warmly tucked into a black cab to listen to the soothing sound of a Scouse cabby telling you “they’re probably all shitebags anyway, babe.”
IT’S ALWAYS OPEN. ALWAYS. An actual baby was born there. It’s the shining light at the end of a long day when all you want is a 37.5cl bottle of gin and a pizza. Maybe a spontaneous cushion if you’re feeling particularly luxe. It has literally everything, even garden Gnomes. Did we mention IT’S ALWAYS OPEN?