I visited the worst building on campus for the first time

The Cypress Building really is truly awful


You voted it worst on campus and I – a Cypress Building virgin – went to explore it. I wasn’t impressed with what I found.

I entered feeling open minded and optimistic, thinking there must be quirks to this old building that could be seen as being lovable and endearing. Possibly even evoking sympathy for this sad little building.

The one and only

As soon as you walk in the building gives off a cold and abandoned vibe, similar to a house on Smithdown the morning after a big party. Heading straight along a corridor clueless to what was ahead I decided to start on the top floors, however I was greeted by an extremely small and unsafe looking lift. It’s like something from an office in an old horror film and definitely something you’d find yourself getting stuck in as soon as the doors shut – I decided to take the stairs.

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The doors to all the lifts were permanently open, maybe because once they shut it’s bad news?

Upstairs I found a corridor that had an institutional feel to it. Doors have handwritten notes on them instead of plastic signs. Can my £9,000 a year not fund some plastic signs?

With no windows in most of the corridors the harsh lighting makes you want to turn around and head back to your student house, no matter how grim it is it probably feels more homely than this building.

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I climbed the stairs ready to explore another floor with the goal to find some toilets and see if they compared to the rest of the building – they did – they take you straight back to the sort you might find in a shit nightclub – ugly and only used if desperate.

Then, I finally found some sunlight. Sadly the source of much wanted freedom came from a sad looking fire escape. The iron bars instantly made me think I was being held captive in some sort of prison and the door looked as though it would actually be pretty damn hard to open.

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Fire escape that ironically makes you want to escape

The actual inside of classrooms, you ask? The chairs may look comfortable but I don’t want to know how old they are and what’s been on them. The windows are thin as anything yet somehow this strange building is constantly boiling adding to the urge to leave immediately.

Other rooms were cramped, hot and uninviting. Housing the sort of seminar or lecture you’d definitely skip. Now that lecture capture exists, why sit in an awkwardly small room when you could learn from the comfort of your own bed? Or at least walk a few meters into the lovely SJ.

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The overall impression was that this building had truly earned the title of worst building on campus, you voted well. If you have weekly lectures here you have my sympathy and advice: don’t go in the lifts.