Is there anything more Leeds than a night out on Call Lane?

There are two types of Leeds local. You’re either a top-end-of-town person, or a bottom-end-of-town person. If you’re the latter, then chances are you make the best type of decisions in life, where as if Yates on a Saturday is the place for you, you probably don’t know much about Call Lane. It’s for the people who really know how to have fun, the crème de la crème of Leeds society, the ones with the No Curfew King on Snapchat.

Pre drinks

The only way to start a night on Call Lane is at… home. Nobody wants to pay £8.30 for a double gin and tonic, but with this kind of extortion you have to think ahead and start preing early. Anything later than 6pm and you’ll literally, be paying for it all night. Pre drinks will involve shameful dancing, a game of Never Have I Ever (turns out your friends have changed since being at uni) and too many selfies on snapchat.

But there’s always one member of the squad that can’t help but telling everyone they’re “taking it steady” tonight. They’ve announced to the world that they’re only staying for one drink in Headingley and they definitely can’t be persuaded to go to town. Even though you all know you’ll be seeing them crawling out of Oporto come 4am.

The taxi journey 

The drive into town mainly consists of you repeatedly calling the taxi driver “bossman”,  trying to connect your phone via bluetooth and asking if he’s heard of the local legend that is Tom Zanetti. He hasn’t. But that doesn’t stop you from proudly proclaiming that sleepin is cheatin, anyway.

Once you’ve negotiated the playlist, it’s time to negotiate the price. You refuse to pay £1.50 more than you did last weekend as a basic matter of principle. One of you is on the phone to the Premier office and another is threatening legal action. All while the unlucky friend sat in the front is left begging the taxi driver not to leave you stranded somewhere in Harehills.

Neon Cactus? Revs? Call Lane Social? 

You’ll make your way down the street, slowly and bar by bar. The world is your oyster and the possibilities are endless when you’re stood at the top of Call Lane. You’re a bit like a kid in a sweet shop, only this sweet shop is destined for hazy memories and an overbearing sense of regret.

But before you even make it into a single bar, you’ve already been cornered by a group of boys trying to get into Normans. They’ll promise you the world and more in the hope that you’ll get them inside, all because of Call Lane’s slightly sexist door policy. Sometimes this will just involve standing with them in the queue, but other times you’ll have to pull out your best GCSE drama performances trying to convince the bouncers you’re legit. Obviously you’re only in it for the free drinks.

Making best friends with the promoters along the way 

Big names around town, the No Curfew King’s are sure to keep you entertained while you stagger your way through the cobbles. Devastatingly charming, usually really fit and armed with wristbands for every club within a two mile radius, these boys really know how to keep you interested. And even when you tell them you’re not going to Space tonight, they’ll still walk you down Call Lane, hand in hand… that’s what we call service.

Until you make it to Backroom 

Here you are again. You definitely spent your 18th birthday here. In fact everyone that you’ve ever known probably spent their 18th birthday here. And even though the group chat decided earlier that you’d try somewhere else tonight, old habits die hard. Despite the irritating club layout, the steep entry fee and the guarantee that anyone you’ve ever hated will be inside … it’ll always be a favourite. 

Consistent and often, far too predictable. Every night at Backroom ends the same. One too many doubles (you’ve already bought a round on your card), an argument with someone from sixth form, and some girl, dressed in Misguided, will definitely be sat on her own crying in the corner. But you’d be lying if you said that TLC’s No Scrub’s and the ever-so persistent club photographer didn’t hold a special place in your heart.

The walk to Dixy’s 

As soon as the lights come on in Backroom, there’s nothing more you want than to find the nearest exit and a portion of chips. But much to your disgust the security guards are asking you to queue OUTSIDE McDonalds.

So, the only option left is to begin the pilgrimage that is the walk to Dixy Chicken. You’ll probably lose a couple of members along the way, but with more potential-baes than the club and the best selection of chicken this side of West Yorkshire, it won’t leave you disappointed. And is totally worth the mile-long walk up Briggate.

“How much further?”

Call Lane is a rite of passage. Whether you’re from LS8 or LS17, it is guaranteed to keep you coming back time and time again. So next weekend, embrace the fact that you’ll make some really poor decisions, bring your sass and leave all your class at home.